Why is it that I seem to want to write more when I'm sitting in a hotel room? It's not like I'm doing anything differently than I would be at home... perhaps it's because Ender is in the same room and I can't talk on the phone or really do anything else that may make noise. When at home, I usually will do the house work before sitting down to watch TV. Right now the only thing I can do is type (which makes a little noise) and watch TV because his playpen is pretty close to the sink so I can't exactly do the few dishes that need to be done... so here I am ;)
As I was driving yesterday, the song “Unanswered Prayers” by Garth Brooks came on. When I was younger, I didn't really like the saying “the man upstairs.” I found it disrespectful and rude. This is not to say that I like the saying more now than I did then, that's not the case. I guess I just better understand why people call Him that now for some reason. At any rate, I started thinking about the concept of an “unanswered prayer.” I've come to the realization that this statement is an unfair assessment of not getting what you want. Just because we didn't get what we asked for doesn't mean the prayer wasn't answered.
I equate this to my relationship with Ender or any parental relationship for that matter... just because a child asks for something, does not necessarily mean that he or she will get what they asked for – or even immediately. Right now I am trying desperately to teach Ender patience. He asks for something and expects to get it right away. I try to appease him as best I can, but sometimes I am doing something and I can't give him what he wants. His latest thing is wanting to be held while I cook. Sometimes I can hold him, but other times, I need both of my hands! He screams and cries and I do what I can to console him, but it's tough...
So how must Heavenly Father feel when we throw a fit or write a song about not getting what we want? I realize that most adults don't scream and cry just because they don't get what they want right away, but this song really strikes a chord with me. It makes me think about my attitude and how I react to things, but mostly it reminds me that Heavenly Father wants what is best for us, just like we do for our earthly children. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know that he wants what is best for me and my family. I know that sometimes it takes patience and acceptance before I can get what I want and/or need. Does this knowledge make things easier? Not really, but it's a comfort to know and understand these things because someday, I will be okay with these concepts. Right now, it's nice to contemplate the theory of my acceptance. ;)
