A New Process

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I got to run into town and feel accomplished. I participated in my school stuff and got the minimum completed for now. I got inventory processed for ScottE and got to spend time with my boy. I got to watch some cool racing and beautiful men (i.e. Vin Diesel!). I even restarted LOTR, which is always a bonus in my book! ;-) I think that I've finally found a way to write everyday... I know that it won't be fail proof because I know there will be days that I want to write and ScottE will be home or we will be out running errands or something, but I'm taking full advantage of this app! I just discovered a lot of new features. While I don't particularly like typing on my phone (as opposed to using the computer), it's a lot easier because I can more easily put it down and walk away when Ender should need something. He doesn't really like me sitting at the computer much and with how much he likes buttons, it's tough to have him on my lap anymore while I'm trying to work. I think this is a reasonable solution for now ;-)

I started a new blog today for Ender. I think that someday we will look back on it and be very grateful that I did. There is already so much that I've forgotten and he's not even 2! I think this is something I will do for all of my children... I hope they will appreciate all of the work that I put into it for them...

Anyway, now that this is just for me ;) lol... I felt pretty good yesterday. I've been easing into a new diet. I recently tried to do a round of the hcG diet which is great and I lost 11 pounds, but it was way too hard and even easier to cheat. I did really well for the first bit, but lost momentum and felt I couldn't go on. This new diet that I have been introduced to, though, is much more doable... I've just been needing to ease I to it because I have to greatly reduce (okay, eliminate) my sugar intake and there are too many things in the house that are still a temptation. I am slowly eating everything, but I am also trying to eat better all around. More veggies and less processed stuff. The only issue that I have with this diet is that the only snack option it gave for my body type (it's called the body type diet) is a hard boiled egg. I HATE hard boiled eggs!! I'll eat them almost any other way, but NOT hard boiled. I guess I just need to do a little more research to see what other options there are for me. I really think this is going to work for me though! I want to lose about 20 pounds, so it's going to take time, but I'm willing to be patient ;)

Other than dieting, life is good. School is going well. I feel like I'm fitting in with the group that I've been placed with pretty well and my team assignments have been smoother. I'm a little worried about finding a job because the economy is so on the fritz and districts are currently fighting to just keep the teachers they have. Hopefully I'll be able to get my foot in the door somewhere, somehow and something will open up for me.

Until later...

Ford Girl

I've been telling more friends and family about my blog and as a consequence have been thinking more and more about writing, at least in general. I constantly have this running monologue in my head about what I would write if I had the availability to sit down and write just then, but most of the time these things go on at the most inopportune moments – usually when I'm driving. If someone has a suggestion to remedy this issue, please, speak up! I'm dying to get these ideas on paper (or at least screen), but have no idea how to document them as they come. I don't feel that speaking them aloud is plausible because of Ender and also because my thoughts are rarely one tracked. I usually get off on some tangent and then come back around to my original track and get off again at some point. It would be really confusing to try to decipher my thoughts that way! Any suggestions though, I am very much open! ;)

So, what exactly, you might be asking has been circling my brain pan? Oddly enough, stuff about cars. As I was driving home yesterday, I kept thinking about my dream car – namely what I would be dreaming of driving if I weren't so bent on ensuring we had something for the large (or at least more than 3 children) family we've been anticipating we would have. I was thinking about cars versus SUVs and the benefits of both. Much to the chagrin of my parents, I am oddly brand loyal. I am very much a Ford girl, through and through. ;) Even in the area we live now, I would be able to use a car, so long as it had All-Wheel drive. My first choice would be a Taurus or a Fusion. If money were no object, I would still like to stay in the “Ford family” and I would get a Lincoln of the same models.

However, given our circumstances, I have planned to eventually acquire an Expedition, as my first choice anyway. I wouldn't mind a Freestyle, but they are more difficult to come by and don't have a lot of cargo room or ground clearance. Someday, I will get the car of my dreams... for the time being, though, I am grateful to have a vehicle to get me from point A to point B. Right now that vehicle is a Chevy Tahoe. Alas, my dream of being a Ford family has been temporarily dashed, but I know that one day, ScottE and I will both be driving Ford trucks!! ;)

Aside from my day dreaming of Fords, there has been a great deal of other things on my mind... namely getting Ender motivated to walk and getting back into school. As far as Ender is concerned, I have gotten him started in the process of enrolling him in Early Intervention. His coordinator came by for an initial meeting and interview on Wednesday. She asked some preliminary questions to get a base line for what programs should be provided for Ender. I will be getting more information from her soon – 2-3 weeks from Wednesday (I'm assuming).

On a very excited note, I will be going back to school on Tuesday!! I am super thrilled to be getting back into my routine and finishing my degree. My brief sabbatical has pushed back my graduation a bit, so I won't be finishing until September of 2012, but I really needed a break. Constant enrollment in a class and not having a break for the past year and a half or so was very tiring, regardless of the fact that it's “only online.” Many have given me a hard time about going to school online rather than going to a traditional school. I agree that online is a lot easier and sometimes I wish I had gone to a brick and mortar. But the thing of it is, I really wanted to be home for my children. I didn't want to have to find a babysitter or pay for daycare. I wanted to raise my children myself. I knew that if I enrolled in a traditional school, when I did have children, I would either drop out and not finish, or would go bankrupt trying to care for my children. I didn't want either. When the opportunity to go presented itself, I really put my foot down with ScottE and expressed to him how important it was for me to start now rather than waiting “until the perfect time” because I knew that would never come. There would always be something standing in the way of me and my education. It may not be the best there is and it may be “easier” than other routes, but it works for me and mine.

I am also glad that Winter is going away! We have been getting a mild sprinkling this week, but most of the snow has melted and given way to an abundance of mud. It's still pretty cold out there, but things are getting better. Today has actually been a pretty day! ;)

Life is going to get pretty hectic as I try to reestablish my routine for school and spending time with an ever increasingly active little boy. I'm sure I will find the motivation to take advantage of his nap times and get things done during the day rather than waiting until night time / the last minute to accomplish my goals for the day. Wish me luck!

Anniversary celebration

I thought that Winter had released her icy grip from my little place in the world, but alas, I was wrong. This last weekend we got nearly as much snow as we had all winter! It's been pretty crazy and slightly overwhelming, but we've been getting a lot of help from a family here in our branch. We've been pretty much adopted by the Liggetts. It's been nice having parental and grand-parental figures here in town. Greg has been really helpful. . . watching out for me and Ender as well as taking ScottE out on tow calls.

In addition to the snow, ScottE and I celebrated 6 years of marriage this past Saturday! The Liggetts watched Ender for us and we went to dinner and a movie. We saw Beastly which was pretty good, totally predictable in the literal sense and geared toward the mostly teen crowd, but it was an enjoyable take on the classic story of Beauty and the Beast. Looking back, I kind of wish we had gone to Longhorn Steakhouse instead of the Chinese buffet we decided on, but mostly, no regrets about much. :)

In other news, Ender is standing up!! He pulls up on furniture and is not quite cruising yet, but he's standing up and is very proud of himself. I give him lots of encouragement and do what I can to get him to stand up as often as I think of it. He is also kind of walking around... he keeps his hands on the ground and sticks his little bum up in the air (which is ADORABLE!), but he's not standing up quite yet. I think I have finally found a doctor for him and he has an appointment next Friday. I am really hoping that he's walking by then! ;)

Getting back into school is still a major goal for me. I am really hoping to get my fingerprint clearance card within the next few days so that I can return to class. I was really needing a break and am very grateful to have had this recent sabbatical, but I'm looking forward to completing my degree. I can't do that if I'm not in school! ;) lol

Other than that, life is pretty normal and relatively happy. :) I didn't get to go and see ScottE this week which made both of us a little sad, but it makes this weekend that much more special. No news on the pregnancy front just yet, but I will keep everyone updated as the news transpires. ;)

Catharsis

Well, well... it's now into February and no blog from the world the Holmans of northeast PA. A lot and yet nothing at all has changed since my last post... Thanksgiving came and went with an air of gratitude and fellowship. Our trip out to California was eventful, slightly stressful, but most importantly a lot of fun. We got to see a lot of people we (or at least ScottE) hadn't seen in some time and ScottE got to spend a lot of time working on cars which is something he greatly enjoys but has very little time to do on a regular basis.

The stressful part came when we were ready to come home... we planned to drive home, in a car that we co-signed for – the current owner is unable to make the payments and is wanting something smaller that gets better fuel mileage – but after a lot of debate was unable to give up the car because she has nothing else to drive. Completely understandable since she is a single mother and needs to work, but the problem was we bought one-way tickets in anticipation of our drive home and she had told us that we could take possession of the car because we had been making the payments for both the loan and the insurance for the past few months. Suffice it to say that we ended up flying home with the promise of delivery of our car within the next few months. We'll just have to wait and see.

I don't know if I've mentioned this at all to anyone, but in November we decided to try to sell our car. Initially I was hesitant because I really like having a car because it makes getting around for just me and Ender much easier. I wasn't ready to give that up so easily, but after much deliberation, we decided it was best for the family in the long run. About a week into 2011, the car sold!! We were kind of surprised but very grateful that the car sold so quickly and easily... we even made a bit of a profit! So we have a car loan paid off and will soon be inheriting another... c'est la vie.

In addition to selling our car, we are planning to buy a 4 wheel drive. We've been having some pretty crazy storms lately and right now we can't even get up our own driveway! It's been a little frustrating and slightly embarrassing, but we are surviving and I guess that is what really counts. ;)

Aside from all of the news about our past and future transportation, things are going relatively well. Ender's vocabulary expands with every hour and he's nearly grown a mouthful of teeth (I think he has 13 or 14 now). He's still not walking which is a bit of a concern but for the most part I'm not worried. He's freaking brilliant and grows smarter everyday. He's learning his colors – he can't yet identify other items but he has several toy balls of different colors and he knows which one is green and which one is yellow. He tries to mimic what we say and his taste buds are developing... he doesn't like hot stuff as much as he used to. He is already beginning to develop the attitude of a 2 year old and he's not even 18 months old yet!!

As it's been said, the only constant in life is change. Things have been changing in my life, some due to my own choices, others due to the choices of those in my life. For the most part, these changes have been positive. I'm really trying to take the baby steps towards making my life what I really want it to be. I know that it's going to take time to establish the habits I want and it's hard to not get caught up in the “all or nothing” mentality and then fall into bad habits. I have good days and bad, but I'm trying and that's what counts, right?

One of the biggest things that I want to work on is writing more. I forget (and I know I say this a lot!) how cathartic it is to sit down and get all of my feelings out in the open. It really doesn't matter if I actually post it to the world or not. What really matters is getting everything off my chest and in the world of a journal or a word processor.

Another thing that I'm working on is losing some weight. I have about 25ish pounds that I would like to lose. I know that so many use the new year to establish new habits, but I would like to think that I have been trying to do these new things throughout the past year and am really wanting this year to be better than the last. I'm looking for healthier recipes and an exercise program that is neither boring nor overly strenuous. I'm also cutting down on my portions and that seems to be helping at least a little. ;) and I'm open to suggestions from anyone...

School is currently on hold because of procrastination on my part. I needed to get some testing done and fingerprints taken and processed. I've gotten the testing done and the kit for the fingerprints has arrived, but I have to go to a certified technician (i.e. the police department) but I have to pay for the processing. It's been a bit of a process, but it's in the works and I'm hoping to be back to school within the month.

I don't know why it takes me so long to sit down and write an update... perhaps because sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming. I definitely will be posting some pictures soon, whether on here or Facebook, I'm not sure yet. First I need to take some pictures! ;) anyway... I'm sitting in a hotel, listening to Ender not take his nap and wondering what I'm going to do to pass the time of today. I'm sure that I'll think of something. I've missed this feeling! (and my laptop ;) )

Weekends are tough... at least for blogging! =)

So, I have been way worse about this than I thought I would be. You would think that I could make a commitment for just 3 months, but I guess not! Part of why I don't blog on the weekends though, is because ScottE is gone so much during the week and when he's here we like to spend as much time together. Blogging isn't exactly interaction between the two of us! =) Either way, I will find some way to make it up!

What's been going on, you ask? Well, a lot and yet nothing at all! We got a new desk over the weekend and it is absolutely b-e-a-utiful. It's black and has a shelf for our printer/scanner and gives me more room that I really know what to do with! This is the first desk that we've gotten for a very specific purpose... for school and work orders. It's nice to have something so specific! It's going to take some time to get everything adjusted properly though... =)

I am planning to go out and see ScottE wherever he is working again this week. It's really nice to get that “ScottE - fix” in the middle of the week! I got so spoiled spending so much time with him last week that I don't think I could go a whole week again without seeing him...

Another class is down for me and it seems I still have so many more to go. I just finished a Foundations of Education course and will be beginning Childhood Development next block. I'm looking forward to it, but looking over the synopsis, it appears like it's going to be a lot of work; which is good and bad because a lot of my courses have been pretty easy so far.

In other news, I got my hair cut over the weekend too. I only wanted a bit of a trim, to clean up the ends and help it to grow longer and healthier. My stylist had slightly different plans and took off more than I really wanted her to. She took an inch off of the length and it feels like I'm back to where I was over a year ago. On the plus side, she cut off most of the blonde that I put in nearly 2 years ago! I'm still a little sad but I know it'll grow back... just like the grass... =) lol

I think that's all for now... I will do my best to write some tomorrow! :P

Moving sucks

I've been wanting to post an update for some time now... just haven't found the motivation or even the energy. Things have been a little hectic for us lately – as you continue to read, you will better understand. I know there are some things that I have not written about (i.e. - Mother's Day, Memorial Day, and Father's Day), so I will update you on those things first and then get to the mayhem...

Mother's Day came and went for me this year. Nothing spectacular happened. The only real highlight was that Ender was saying “Momma” at that point in time. He has since ceased doing so. The only joy that brings me is the fact that I know he will say it enough over the course of his lifetime to make up for that lack of it now.

Memorial Day was wonderful. ScottE, Carter and I were able to go to Hershey Park. We had a blast. It was difficult leaving Ender alone for the first time, especially for the full day. But we all survived. We rode all of the roller-coasters in about 2 hours. It wasn't nearly as crowded as we expected it to be which was nice. But we did not go prepared to get wet – which we did because it was really hot that day.

Father's Day we spent in Springville with ScottE's sister and her family. We had a lot of fun, but it was a difficult weekend for me. ScottE had been gone all week and was needed to help with the chicken coop. Add to that the fact that Ender was refusing to take his naps and would not sit down without me, I was a little more than spent. But again, we all survived.

Okay. Recently my computer decided to no longer charge. Apparently the charge port has been damaged somehow. Which really sucks because most of our music is on my laptop, along with nearly all of our pictures from the past year (i.e. - Ender's whole life!). We are hoping to get it fixed soon, but with everything else going on, it's not likely for at least a little while.

The process of moving has begun. It is starting to get very bare in our home. We have already moved our dressers, couches, a desk, most of Ender's baby clothes, clothes we don't plan on wearing any time soon and a majority of ScottE's tools. We have a storage unit in Reading, which is nice, but here is where things get a little tricky. We aren't moving to Reading any more!! After our initial plan fell through, ScottE and I were at a loss for what to do. We were being really picky about where we moved to because we have moved way to much over the course of our 5 year marriage and we are both tired of it. Our plan was to get a very specific unit in Reading, live there for a few years, buy some property up near Jana and her family, then borrow against the equity and put a house on it, then move up there. Well, I guess you could say we're skipping a step.

After much prayer and conversation, ScottE and I have decided the best thing for us to do is to be near family. We are going to be moving up to the Springville/Tunkhannock area which is in northern PA. As of now, we are not entirely sure where we are going to be staying until we find a place of our own, but we are planning to buy a house within the next year (hopefully not that long). It's a little scary not really knowing where we are going, but we are trusting that our Heavenly Father will point us in the right direction when the time comes.

So, aside from the moving debacle, things are going pretty well. I've finally started some of my core classes, meaning my education courses. I'm stoked about that, but dreading the fact that it's been all math. However, there is a silver lining in that I'm getting them done now in the beginning so I don't have to worry about them later, which is really nice.

Ender is now 11 months old!! I can't believe it!! Where does the time go... Everyone told me how quickly it goes (I believed them, but still!). It seems unreal to me that he will be 1 year old here very soon. He is still not crawling, which right now is very much okay with me. Trying to pack everything and keep track of him would be way too much for me to handle everyday. But I'm not all that concerned about him not crawling. I read an article in which the author quoted a doctor who basically said as long as baby is babbling, he/she is developing fine. I can testify that Ender babbles constantly. I love listening to him and talking back to him. His smile and laughter light up a room...

Another big thing going on this summer is I'm going back to CA for a couple of weeks. Initially, ScottE and I were planning to stay in a hotel for a bit until our unit became available in Reading. Now plans have changed, but I'm still coming home. I will be there from August 12th through the 26th. I'm really excited! Ender has grown so much and I've missed my family.

Well... there has been some craziness and some exciting changes in our lives. I hope to not go so long between posts next time! =)

Inspiration?

I've been wanting to write something “new” for some time. Perhaps my current creative writing class will provide me with some inspiration to write on a more regular basis. I keep wanting to get more organized, to do things I want/need to do but also to simply get more done. I don't do much of anything during the day and when the night hits, I want to clean! But then I realize that I should get up earlier in the day. So, do I stay up late and then sleep in? Or do I try to get to bed at a decent time and then get up early? I've never been much of an early bird. I keep thinking that will change as I have children but so far, it's not changing at all.

I have recently been inspired to do things differently. I want to have set days for certain things. Last week, ScottE had a night job on Tuesday, so he was home during the day. It was great having him home, but I was unable to do anything that I really wanted to get done. Then Wednesday, he had an afternoon job to make up for his night job the previous day. It was very difficult to get back into my routine of things to do. I'm not sure why, but it really upset me to have my routine so out of sorts. In a way, I blew up at ScottE and we had a significant discussion of why I was upset. I know he didn't really understand, but I tried my best to explain what was going on in my head. Does anyone else have this issue?

Ender is doing really well. We went to the doctor today and he, not surprisingly, got a clean bill of health. He is 19 pounds, 4.5 ounces and nearly 30 inches long! He is getting so big... I'm planning to post some pictures soon.

Speaking of pictures... this past Saturday, we went out to this beautiful mansion and a sister from our ward took pictures for us! I've gotten a sneak peak at them and I can't wait to get the rest of them. She is truly an amazing photographer.

A sad bit in our lives... we no longer have Charli. As most already know, we will be moving this summer (yay...). It just seems to be rather difficult to move with a dog. We've done it before, and it wasn't always a major hassle, but when you are going to be renting a place, dogs limit your options. We've found this incredible place just outside of Reading, but they don't accept dogs, pets really of any kind. We were very sad at first, but we've realized that this is something that is important for our family. Luckily (as I always try to find the silver lining), there is a wonderful family in our ward that was willing to take her. They have 5 children and Charli seems to be fitting in nicely. It almost makes it harder to see that she has been so well received. I know that I will continue to miss her, but for now, I am doing my best to accept the companionship of Ender. It's not the same because he doesn't cuddle under the covers or just sit next to me like Charli did – but I'm coping!

Another bit about Ender – he is such a joy! I love being his mommy...

• Whenever he hears music (or even when he doesn't), he moves his head from side to side like he's dancing! It is so cute – I think that's my favorite thing that he does lately. 

• He's beginning to roll all over the place. I know it won't be long until he's crawling and then I'll really have to get on top of the household cleaning!

• He recently discovered that he can yell. He's not usually upset, he just likes to hear his own voice. Not usually that big of a deal, but when we're trying to watch TV or something it gets a little frustrating.

• He nods his head yes! I don't think he's actually saying “yes” at this point, but it's a nice thought.

• He sticks his tongue out all the time.

• It's super cute to watch him discovering things. He holds things in his hands and looks at them, and then of course puts them in his mouth. But first, he looks at it, turns it over in his hands. He is becoming quite dexterous (as ScottE says).

• Whenever I say “mom-mom-mom-mama,” he gets this big goofy grin on his face. I just love it!

• He is beginning to sit up. You just have to sit him up first.

I think that's the extent of his milestones for now. I'll try to keep everyone more up to date. =)