Feeling Better

It's been a couple of days since I took the time to write anything. I have been feeling the effects. I've been making a conscious effort to write a little something every day. I have just now taken the time to sit down and post anything(!), but I can feel a difference in just writing things for myself...

Anyway. I've been more than a little upset lately. Not really sure why that is. I think it's mostly because of the new lack of routine. I am trying to get at least me and Ender back on some kind of regime but it's been hard. I enjoy spending time with ScottE but I need to get my stuff done too, with or without him. I just need to suck it up and do things on my own again.

School is back in session and I'm not really looking forward to it. I'm having a hard time getting into this class for some reason. Wish me luck there!

I've been praying every day and am starting to feel a major difference. It's been a little tough to get to it because we've been staying up way too late (1 - 2 am most nights); another part of our routine that I'm striving to change this year. My aim is 11pm, but we'll have to see how that works out ;-)

Until next time!

Cooking and Writing Inspiration

I've been inspired ;-) I have always talked about Julie & Julia as an inspiration for my writing. As I sit here watching it, all I can think about is what I want to write. So here I am, writing to the blogosphere and wondering how many people actually read all of the goofy stuff I write about... Anyway... One thing I have really been working on for the past few weeks is cooking on a more regular basis. Not just because it's healthier, but also because it's cheaper. Things are getting to be tight because of our unpredictable income, but I am trying to deal as best I can.

I've developed a menu and we are doing a regular rotation. We have two weekly menus that I am working through and then I've been doing a week of new recipes too. I forgot how much I love cooking! I don't consider myself a chef, or even a foodie, but I love spending time in the kitchen - and I love cooking on a gas stove again! I will definitely continue to maintain our menus and add new recipes on occasion for something new and fresh. Our rotation includes: pepperoncini beef, garlic chicken, biscuits and gravy with eggs, French bread pizza, chicken costa brava, pot roast with carrots and taters, Mac & cheese, chicken Alfredo, tater-tot casserole, enchiladas, and lasagna with a few others for filler. I have yet to plan a left-over night, which will be important with all of the food I've been making! Wish us luck...

I definitely will not be cooking my way through Julia Child's cookbook, but I will be writing about our cooking adventures and how our new menu setup is working out.

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Welcome 2012

Another year has come and gone. I've made myself, and others promises, always with the intention of keeping them and then let everyone down. 2012 is going to be different. I am going to force myself to make good habits, to be better in so many ways. This is my year for change. There are so many things I want to change and I'm hoping that by getting this out there, that it will be easier and more likely to follow through. Pray for me as I will pray that those I know and love will achieve their goals in the coming year.
Happy New Year!! Welcome 2012 ;-)

An update

Well, dear blogosphere, it has been far too long! I was unaware of how many of our family actually read my blog and it makes me feel good and bad all at the same time. Good because my effort has been worth something, but bad because it has been so long since I've posted anything! I have been writing, but just not taking the time to post… so, here I am!

ScottE and I have maintained our tradition of moving every year. I know we've said this before, but this is most definitely our last move for a very long time! We are in a beautiful 4 bedroom house set on 28 acres. We are really settling in… one thing we will never do again is move in December! It was murder trying to get everything together around Thanksgiving. But things are settling down – we've got our Internet and phone up (the number is the same). Our landlord did a lot of work on the property before we moved in. He tore up the carpet downstairs and was planning on putting in laminate but discovered real hardwood floors under the carpet. It's been an adjustment with the hardwood floors, but once the furniture is set, then we will get in a rhythm of taking care of everything. We also got a new toilet, new carpet upstairs, a fresh coat of paint and ceiling fans in every room. We have 3 rooms in this house, and we have absolutely no idea what we are going to do with them! It's kind of a nice feeling, especially with what we just moved out of…

School is going well for me; looking forward to Winter Break and some time off. It was tough trying to keep up with everything over the last month. Moving and getting all of the addresses changed and then we were without Internet for about 2 weeks, which was really tough. Our phone didn't even get turned on for 5 days or so. It was tough being so out of touch with the world – but baby, I'm back!

I had taken some time to write a list of things I am grateful for, but I didn't take the time to finish it. So, as I've been thinking about how to finish that, I've also been trying to move on and think about the future instead of dwelling in the past. So, moving on…

I've been thinking about my New Year's resolutions. I know, it's totally cliché, but the start of the year is a kin to a new start. What are my resolutions?

1. Read and pray, every day.
   
2. Exercise at least 5 days a week.
   
3. Develop a cleaning routine.
   
4. Sing every day.
   
5. Write something every day; more specifically a tender mercy, one small thing that I am grateful for or made me smile.
   

I really am going to try to write more this year. I'm thinking with our new house and setup, I will. ;-)

Turning 25…

I have had a few things circling around in my brain pan over the past few days that I have wanted to get out into the blogosphere, but just haven't really had the time! We had Jana and her four children staying with us for just over a week because their house was being fumigated for fleas. It was a lot of fun having them here… we spent last Thursday cleaning the house and rearranging the living room. I think that I like the new arrangement, but I'm not entirely sure how ScottE feels about it. I guess it doesn't matter that much because he's so rarely here these days. Although he's taking next week off for vacation, and I'm really excited!!

Last Saturday, I turned 25. I feel like such a youngen out here because most of the people I spend my time with are a bit older than me. It's kind of nice being on the other end of the spectrum for once in my life. This birthday was significantly better than my last. I don't think I got a single phone call or birthday wish last year (except for the card from my Daddy, and probably a call or text from my Mom). I am sure there was more than that, I just can't really remember right now… either way, this year was infinitely better. My Honey got my one wish for me – Lord of the Rings, extended version on Blu-ray! Kind of an extravagant gift, but so beyond worth it!! ;) It is so b-e-a-utiful! I also got to get some new clothes… something I've needed for some time. I really like the whole jeans and t-shirt look, most of the time, but I often felt a little underdressed at family gatherings and the 2 pairs of jeans that I wore regularly have significant holes in them now. I really just wanted clothes that fit me properly! So, I talked with one of my best friends, Whitney and we set a date. Friday before my birthday, we went to the Salvation Army down in Tunkhannock. They have a great selection of stuff that I would never be able to afford – I mean name brand stuff!! It's pretty well organized, but we still spent nearly 5 hours there, pulling clothes off the racks, trying stuff on and witling out the stuff I couldn't get for one reason or another. I had a budget of $50, and I spent $65… I was very fortunate that Whit pitched in $30 so I was able to get that much more! I am really happy with the stuff I got and have gotten so many compliments!! I owe a great deal of that to Whit and her amazing sense of fashion – she picked out stuff for me that I never would have even looked at twice. Can you believe I bought a zebra print blouse? I couldn't… but I love it and got so many compliments when I wore it to church last Sunday.

On Saturday, ScottE and I went out with Brian and Whitney and saw the new Harry Potter movie and went to dinner at Red Robin; then we did some grocery shopping (mostly because we really needed some food in our house!). All in all, it was an absolutely fabulous day and I loved all of my Facebook comments as well! ;)

I haven't been going to Philly as much or really at all the past few weeks, because the family has been keeping me busy with hanging out and baby-sitting. I am really grateful for the time I've been able to spend with them, because I am really beginning to feel like a part of the family. I was recently experiencing some significant feelings of exclusion. A large part of why we moved up here to NE PA was so I could spend more time with the family, and for some reason that wasn't happening. No one would call me for help. I am still unsure if it is more of laying down new habits or if it's because they assume I am going down to Philly to see ScottE. Either way, it seems like it's mostly been cleared up. I feel like I am being included in more things and that everyone really wants me around. It's a really nice feeling!

Jana's stay here with me really brought us closer. If for nothing else, it was nice to get to know each other a little better and spend such a concentrated amount of time together. It was sometimes challenging with the kids because they wanted to go home and sleep in their own beds (I didn't blame them one bit!), but overall it was an eye-opening and lovely experience. Not quite sure I want 5 kids anymore! ;) lol

Potential and Privilege

For whatever reason, I have this notion that every blog I post has to be deep and meaningful, that there has to be something behind it other than just the notion to write. I love to write and love to write just for the sake of writing, but I don't like writing about the everyday minutia or boring things that happen every day. I don't want my blog to be full of entries that are just the same, just blah. So I've been trying to come up with some things that are more meaningful, at least to me and more interesting for my readers, i.e. you.

As luck would have it, I had a relatively meaningful experience a few weeks ago. This was something that I meant to write about earlier, but just didn't take the time to do so. So, here I am… trying to make sense of the experience, put it into words and share with the world around me. I've heard it said that writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. Not sure if I entirely agree with that, but it definitely takes a certain type of person to write and have others not only understand but enjoy the work.

My branch here in Montrose has organized a group for the women to meet together and discuss gospel principles. Twice a year, the Church holds what is known as General Conference in which the leaders of the Church speak to the members about given issues/topics. Then, the following month, the Church publishes the talks in the monthly magazine known as the Ensign. For the month of May, we studied a talk given by a wonderful man named Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He spoke of the authority granted to the men of our Church and how many of them fail to live up to their true potential in this calling.

As women, we were trying to find what it was that we could do to help our men live up to their fullest potential. After some personal reflection and guidance from my fellow sisters, my biggest challenge is to put my "do it switch" to the "now" position. I constantly find myself putting things off until the last minute and then rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off because I didn't do my work when I had the time. Instead I tend to sit around and do nothing, rest and watch TV, or whatever. I am getting better about things, but Ender also likes to watch movies too… just today he asked if he could watch Tron!

Regardless of where my "do it switch" is at the moment, I need to make an effort to turn it to the "now" position on a much more regular basis. I feel better, the house looks better and life is much happier! ;)

Temple Trip

In my haste to talk about road kill, I forgot to mention our trip to the temple last weekend. I recently had the distinct impression that we would get pregnant after we had gone to the temple and Ender started walking. Well… at least one of those requisites has been achieved! Ender is doing pretty well with standing on his own and has taken some steps, but is still a bit out of walking on his own. ScottE and I hadn't been to the temple since I got pregnant with Ender which was more than 2.5 years ago. I really felt like we needed to make getting there a priority. It gets to be really tough because of ScottE's work schedule and the fact that he really only has one day a week to do things around the house and/or relax. We finally made the decision that this was something we really wanted to do and made the goofy choice of going to D.C. rather than Palmyra (D.C. is 5 hours away from where we live; Palmyra is only 2 hours). However, we wanted to go and see Carter and Jessica who live in Virginia and not very far from the D.C. temple. It became an all-day affair. We arrived around noon and had some time to kill until Carter got off work.

We went to the Smithsonian Air and Space museum! We brought a babysitter with us (a very willing and able young man named Jared from our branch) to watch Ender while we were in the temple. The boys had a lot of fun looking at all of the machines and gadgets. I got pretty bored pretty fast but I'm not really the museum-going-type. I like to sit and talk or watch a movie, not spend the afternoon on my feet. Ender was really tired because he didn't nap the entire drive down and he doesn't do well sitting still. He likes to be moving constantly. All things considered, he did pretty well for an almost 2 year old.

Shortly before Carter got off work, we headed back to their apartment to finish the preparations for dinner. Upon Carter's arrival, we had dinner and then prepared to depart to the temple. Traffic was relatively light which made our rush to attend our desired time slot a little less stressful.

I had forgotten how peaceful and quiet the temple can be. As soon as we walked in, my cares and worries vanished. I felt calm and complete. While sitting with ScottE after our session, I said a prayer to myself. I reflected on the things that I had learned and relearned and asked what more I could do to become the Daughter that He would like for me to become. Very clearly, I heard 3 things, very simple come back to me in my own voice. I was reminded of the importance of daily Scripture study, daily prayer and writing daily. These have been emphasized on an increasing basis to me, both in Church lessons and in personal reflection.

Since our trip, I have been trying to keep up with these three things. I have found that I sleep better when I read and say my prayers at night. But with our bedtime becoming later and later, it's been difficult for me to do both. I have been trying to at least read every night. Some weeks I do really well, others, not so much. But the point is that I'm trying.

As far as writing is concerned, I am doing my best. Some days I write and write, while others I only think about it. Again, I am trying… and that's really all I can do for now, is strive with all that I have to do better.