I’m
beginning to wonder if change is really possible. I would surely hope so
because I am getting a bit tired of the way life is going right now. I feel I get
caught in the same ruts over and over again… I try to find solutions, which
work for some time, but then I fall back into old habits and have to start all
over again. Why can’t I just make the change and it stick? Why do I have to
keep making the same changes over and over again? As usual, my most recent
project is trying to maintaining the house and my other responsibilities as the
housekeeper. I have a really hard time establishing routines. I think the
biggest issue is that I don’t have anyone to be accountable to. I know that keeping
a clean house and paying the bills for my boys should be enough to make me get
up and walk away from the TV or book or whatever, but for some reason it’s not.
I’ve tried rewarding myself with TV time after I get stuff done, but I end up
sitting down first and putting my chores off until later. I keep telling
myself, “I’ll just do it later…” but then I don’t get those things done!
I’ve
also noticed that I build things up in my head. I make it seem like whatever it
is that I need to do is going to take me all day – or even more than 5 minutes
and so I don’t want to do it right now… and I put it off. When the truth of the
matter is, it really wouldn’t take that long if I would just get up and do it. Plus,
then I would have more time to do what I want because I wouldn’t be worried
about getting the necessary things done! Why can’t I convince myself of this? I
know it to be truth! I know that I would only have to work for about an hour
and then I could pretty much do whatever I wanted – make some new beauty
product, research some new obsession, catch up on blogging, do some writing,
watch a movie – whatever! I just should be getting my work done FIRST!!
One
of the phrases I’ve had running through my head is to flip my “do it switch” to
now – when I think of something to do, say the dishes or putting away the
laundry, I should do it right then. No thinking about it, no rationalization of
why I should be doing nothing, just do it. Of course this is much easier said
than done… I guess I really just need to force myself and as I do so, it will
become a habit and then I won’t have to worry about it because I’ll already be
doing it! =)
I don’t
know if there is anyone else that falls into this rut. The women that I spend
time with seem to have everything figured out and are always bustling about
doing the things that I should do on a regular basis but don’t, simply because I
am lazy and unwilling to do the work that has been asked of me, even though it’s
simple. I don’t know if I will ever be as productive as they, but I will
definitely try!
I just need to remember to flip my do it switch and that things never take as long as I think they will. Time to put up some Post-Its!! =) lol
