Personal Log

Feeling Better

2012-01-04T15:12:00.000-05:00

It's been a couple of days since I took the time to write anything. I have been feeling the effects. I've been making a conscious effort to write a little something every day. I have just now taken the time to sit down and post anything(!), but I can feel a difference in just writing things for myself...

Anyway. I've been more than a little upset lately. Not really sure why that is. I think it's mostly because of the new lack of routine. I am trying to get at least me and Ender back on some kind of regime but it's been hard. I enjoy spending time with ScottE but I need to get my stuff done too, with or without him. I just need to suck it up and do things on my own again.

School is back in session and I'm not really looking forward to it. I'm having a hard time getting into this class for some reason. Wish me luck there!

I've been praying every day and am starting to feel a major difference. It's been a little tough to get to it because we've been staying up way too late (1 - 2 am most nights); another part of our routine that I'm striving to change this year. My aim is 11pm, but we'll have to see how that works out ;-)

Until next time!

Cooking and Writing Inspiration

2012-01-02T14:00:00.000-05:00

I've been inspired ;-) I have always talked about Julie & Julia as an inspiration for my writing. As I sit here watching it, all I can think about is what I want to write. So here I am, writing to the blogosphere and wondering how many people actually read all of the goofy stuff I write about... Anyway... One thing I have really been working on for the past few weeks is cooking on a more regular basis. Not just because it's healthier, but also because it's cheaper. Things are getting to be tight because of our unpredictable income, but I am trying to deal as best I can.

I've developed a menu and we are doing a regular rotation. We have two weekly menus that I am working through and then I've been doing a week of new recipes too. I forgot how much I love cooking! I don't consider myself a chef, or even a foodie, but I love spending time in the kitchen - and I love cooking on a gas stove again! I will definitely continue to maintain our menus and add new recipes on occasion for something new and fresh. Our rotation includes: pepperoncini beef, garlic chicken, biscuits and gravy with eggs, French bread pizza, chicken costa brava, pot roast with carrots and taters, Mac & cheese, chicken Alfredo, tater-tot casserole, enchiladas, and lasagna with a few others for filler. I have yet to plan a left-over night, which will be important with all of the food I've been making! Wish us luck...

I definitely will not be cooking my way through Julia Child's cookbook, but I will be writing about our cooking adventures and how our new menu setup is working out.

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Welcome 2012

2012-01-01T02:47:00.000-05:00

Another year has come and gone. I've made myself, and others promises, always with the intention of keeping them and then let everyone down. 2012 is going to be different. I am going to force myself to make good habits, to be better in so many ways. This is my year for change. There are so many things I want to change and I'm hoping that by getting this out there, that it will be easier and more likely to follow through. Pray for me as I will pray that those I know and love will achieve their goals in the coming year.
Happy New Year!! Welcome 2012 ;-)

An update

2011-12-16T00:22:00.001-05:00

Well, dear blogosphere, it has been far too long! I was unaware of how many of our family actually read my blog and it makes me feel good and bad all at the same time. Good because my effort has been worth something, but bad because it has been so long since I've posted anything! I have been writing, but just not taking the time to post… so, here I am!

ScottE and I have maintained our tradition of moving every year. I know we've said this before, but this is most definitely our last move for a very long time! We are in a beautiful 4 bedroom house set on 28 acres. We are really settling in… one thing we will never do again is move in December! It was murder trying to get everything together around Thanksgiving. But things are settling down – we've got our Internet and phone up (the number is the same). Our landlord did a lot of work on the property before we moved in. He tore up the carpet downstairs and was planning on putting in laminate but discovered real hardwood floors under the carpet. It's been an adjustment with the hardwood floors, but once the furniture is set, then we will get in a rhythm of taking care of everything. We also got a new toilet, new carpet upstairs, a fresh coat of paint and ceiling fans in every room. We have 3 rooms in this house, and we have absolutely no idea what we are going to do with them! It's kind of a nice feeling, especially with what we just moved out of…

School is going well for me; looking forward to Winter Break and some time off. It was tough trying to keep up with everything over the last month. Moving and getting all of the addresses changed and then we were without Internet for about 2 weeks, which was really tough. Our phone didn't even get turned on for 5 days or so. It was tough being so out of touch with the world – but baby, I'm back!

I had taken some time to write a list of things I am grateful for, but I didn't take the time to finish it. So, as I've been thinking about how to finish that, I've also been trying to move on and think about the future instead of dwelling in the past. So, moving on…

I've been thinking about my New Year's resolutions. I know, it's totally cliché, but the start of the year is a kin to a new start. What are my resolutions?

Read and pray, every day.
Exercise at least 5 days a week.
Develop a cleaning routine.
Sing every day.
Write something every day; more specifically a tender mercy, one small thing that I am grateful for or made me smile.

I really am going to try to write more this year. I'm thinking with our new house and setup, I will. ;-)

Turning 25…

2011-07-22T15:13:00.001-04:00

I have had a few things circling around in my brain pan over the past few days that I have wanted to get out into the blogosphere, but just haven't really had the time! We had Jana and her four children staying with us for just over a week because their house was being fumigated for fleas. It was a lot of fun having them here… we spent last Thursday cleaning the house and rearranging the living room. I think that I like the new arrangement, but I'm not entirely sure how ScottE feels about it. I guess it doesn't matter that much because he's so rarely here these days. Although he's taking next week off for vacation, and I'm really excited!!

Last Saturday, I turned 25. I feel like such a youngen out here because most of the people I spend my time with are a bit older than me. It's kind of nice being on the other end of the spectrum for once in my life. This birthday was significantly better than my last. I don't think I got a single phone call or birthday wish last year (except for the card from my Daddy, and probably a call or text from my Mom). I am sure there was more than that, I just can't really remember right now… either way, this year was infinitely better. My Honey got my one wish for me – Lord of the Rings, extended version on Blu-ray! Kind of an extravagant gift, but so beyond worth it!! ;) It is so b-e-a-utiful! I also got to get some new clothes… something I've needed for some time. I really like the whole jeans and t-shirt look, most of the time, but I often felt a little underdressed at family gatherings and the 2 pairs of jeans that I wore regularly have significant holes in them now. I really just wanted clothes that fit me properly! So, I talked with one of my best friends, Whitney and we set a date. Friday before my birthday, we went to the Salvation Army down in Tunkhannock. They have a great selection of stuff that I would never be able to afford – I mean name brand stuff!! It's pretty well organized, but we still spent nearly 5 hours there, pulling clothes off the racks, trying stuff on and witling out the stuff I couldn't get for one reason or another. I had a budget of $50, and I spent $65… I was very fortunate that Whit pitched in $30 so I was able to get that much more! I am really happy with the stuff I got and have gotten so many compliments!! I owe a great deal of that to Whit and her amazing sense of fashion – she picked out stuff for me that I never would have even looked at twice. Can you believe I bought a zebra print blouse? I couldn't… but I love it and got so many compliments when I wore it to church last Sunday.

On Saturday, ScottE and I went out with Brian and Whitney and saw the new Harry Potter movie and went to dinner at Red Robin; then we did some grocery shopping (mostly because we really needed some food in our house!). All in all, it was an absolutely fabulous day and I loved all of my Facebook comments as well! ;)

I haven't been going to Philly as much or really at all the past few weeks, because the family has been keeping me busy with hanging out and baby-sitting. I am really grateful for the time I've been able to spend with them, because I am really beginning to feel like a part of the family. I was recently experiencing some significant feelings of exclusion. A large part of why we moved up here to NE PA was so I could spend more time with the family, and for some reason that wasn't happening. No one would call me for help. I am still unsure if it is more of laying down new habits or if it's because they assume I am going down to Philly to see ScottE. Either way, it seems like it's mostly been cleared up. I feel like I am being included in more things and that everyone really wants me around. It's a really nice feeling!

Jana's stay here with me really brought us closer. If for nothing else, it was nice to get to know each other a little better and spend such a concentrated amount of time together. It was sometimes challenging with the kids because they wanted to go home and sleep in their own beds (I didn't blame them one bit!), but overall it was an eye-opening and lovely experience. Not quite sure I want 5 kids anymore! ;) lol

Potential and Privilege

2011-06-30T14:17:00.001-04:00

For whatever reason, I have this notion that every blog I post has to be deep and meaningful, that there has to be something behind it other than just the notion to write. I love to write and love to write just for the sake of writing, but I don't like writing about the everyday minutia or boring things that happen every day. I don't want my blog to be full of entries that are just the same, just blah. So I've been trying to come up with some things that are more meaningful, at least to me and more interesting for my readers, i.e. you.

As luck would have it, I had a relatively meaningful experience a few weeks ago. This was something that I meant to write about earlier, but just didn't take the time to do so. So, here I am… trying to make sense of the experience, put it into words and share with the world around me. I've heard it said that writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. Not sure if I entirely agree with that, but it definitely takes a certain type of person to write and have others not only understand but enjoy the work.

My branch here in Montrose has organized a group for the women to meet together and discuss gospel principles. Twice a year, the Church holds what is known as General Conference in which the leaders of the Church speak to the members about given issues/topics. Then, the following month, the Church publishes the talks in the monthly magazine known as the Ensign. For the month of May, we studied a talk given by a wonderful man named Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He spoke of the authority granted to the men of our Church and how many of them fail to live up to their true potential in this calling.

As women, we were trying to find what it was that we could do to help our men live up to their fullest potential. After some personal reflection and guidance from my fellow sisters, my biggest challenge is to put my "do it switch" to the "now" position. I constantly find myself putting things off until the last minute and then rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off because I didn't do my work when I had the time. Instead I tend to sit around and do nothing, rest and watch TV, or whatever. I am getting better about things, but Ender also likes to watch movies too… just today he asked if he could watch Tron!

Regardless of where my "do it switch" is at the moment, I need to make an effort to turn it to the "now" position on a much more regular basis. I feel better, the house looks better and life is much happier! ;)

Temple Trip

2011-06-30T14:05:00.001-04:00

In my haste to talk about road kill, I forgot to mention our trip to the temple last weekend. I recently had the distinct impression that we would get pregnant after we had gone to the temple and Ender started walking. Well… at least one of those requisites has been achieved! Ender is doing pretty well with standing on his own and has taken some steps, but is still a bit out of walking on his own. ScottE and I hadn't been to the temple since I got pregnant with Ender which was more than 2.5 years ago. I really felt like we needed to make getting there a priority. It gets to be really tough because of ScottE's work schedule and the fact that he really only has one day a week to do things around the house and/or relax. We finally made the decision that this was something we really wanted to do and made the goofy choice of going to D.C. rather than Palmyra (D.C. is 5 hours away from where we live; Palmyra is only 2 hours). However, we wanted to go and see Carter and Jessica who live in Virginia and not very far from the D.C. temple. It became an all-day affair. We arrived around noon and had some time to kill until Carter got off work.

We went to the Smithsonian Air and Space museum! We brought a babysitter with us (a very willing and able young man named Jared from our branch) to watch Ender while we were in the temple. The boys had a lot of fun looking at all of the machines and gadgets. I got pretty bored pretty fast but I'm not really the museum-going-type. I like to sit and talk or watch a movie, not spend the afternoon on my feet. Ender was really tired because he didn't nap the entire drive down and he doesn't do well sitting still. He likes to be moving constantly. All things considered, he did pretty well for an almost 2 year old.

Shortly before Carter got off work, we headed back to their apartment to finish the preparations for dinner. Upon Carter's arrival, we had dinner and then prepared to depart to the temple. Traffic was relatively light which made our rush to attend our desired time slot a little less stressful.

I had forgotten how peaceful and quiet the temple can be. As soon as we walked in, my cares and worries vanished. I felt calm and complete. While sitting with ScottE after our session, I said a prayer to myself. I reflected on the things that I had learned and relearned and asked what more I could do to become the Daughter that He would like for me to become. Very clearly, I heard 3 things, very simple come back to me in my own voice. I was reminded of the importance of daily Scripture study, daily prayer and writing daily. These have been emphasized on an increasing basis to me, both in Church lessons and in personal reflection.

Since our trip, I have been trying to keep up with these three things. I have found that I sleep better when I read and say my prayers at night. But with our bedtime becoming later and later, it's been difficult for me to do both. I have been trying to at least read every night. Some weeks I do really well, others, not so much. But the point is that I'm trying.

As far as writing is concerned, I am doing my best. Some days I write and write, while others I only think about it. Again, I am trying… and that's really all I can do for now, is strive with all that I have to do better.

Roadkill and a Novel

2011-06-18T18:53:00.000-04:00

It may be a strange thing to think about, but as I was driving today, I couldn’t help but notice the road kill. Out in California, there are always cats and dogs, sometimes you’ll see (or rather smell) a skunk or two, but that’s generally it for the drive-by critters. Out here in rural PA is another story. I often see – deer, skunks, groundhogs, beavers, rabbits, and of course cats and dogs (although dogs, not very often). But today, I saw one of the saddest things. Someone had hit a turtle! It was a pretty big one too. I can’t imagine hitting a turtle. The other day, ScottE saw a small one on the side of the road. After nearly hitting it, he turned around and put it in the bed of the pickup to take to our little Thomas who was overjoyed to have it (it has since disappeared into their yard somewhere). I never thought I would see turtles on the side of the road. Just another sign of how life’s choices can forever change your perspective on life.

Another thing that happened today was my cousin got married!! I am so happy for her because she has found a terrific guy who understands her through and through. I wish them all the best and am hoping to be able to see them when they come to the east coast for their honeymoon ;) lol

At the rate of our procreation (which is at a significant stalemate at the moment), it seems as though our family will not grow to the 5 children we had thought we were planning for. For the most part, I think that I am okay with that because it was my impression that we were going to have that many. My thoughts may change in time (or perhaps Heavenly Father has some different plans for us) but for now, I’m almost resigned to think we will only have 2 or 3. It would make our car buying options a bit more open! ;) lol But the number of children we are going to have is not really the topic at hand… at least not right now. I constantly have a running list of names going through my mind. I don’t know if this is because we are supposed to have a bunch of children, or if perhaps there is a different purpose. After a relatively lengthy conversation with my sister-in-law, Jessica, I think I have decided that part of why I have so many names in my head is because I have a book to write. I have always enjoyed reading and writing but never thought I would sit down and crank out a novel. I am unsure if I will seek publication, but for now, I am content to try to find the story within. I went to Barnes & Noble and picked up a couple of books on writing and I am currently reading one on character and viewpoint development. I’ve considered writing a memoir too, but I’m not sure that will work out for the best. I think fiction is really the way to go for me and I’m actually pretty excited about it! I just need to stay disciplined and block out some time every day to write. If I do that then I know I can come up with some great ideas. I just hope the little man cooperates!

Wish me luck!

Choices

2011-06-15T15:11:00.000-04:00

It is amazing how life turns out sometimes. I never thought I would live anywhere but the central valley of California. I never thought I would call someplace else home. I have had the privilege of going home multiple times since my move out here more than 2 years ago, but it's really nit home to me anymore. I know that I have only been in PA for just over 2 years and that I lived in Cali for more than 20, but PA is so much more home. I just don't feel the peace there that I do here. I do, however miss the dry heat. I would take 100* heat any day over the humidity that we deal with here, especially in Philly. I do not like feeling like I am wet all over!
Another thing that has surprised me over the years is how it seems strange to see my maiden name. I know the Lawsons are very much a part of me (and the Rogers too), but I feel like I've always been Holman. Occasionally I will see something with my maiden name on it and it just looks so weird to me. I know that I have only been Holman for 6 years out of my nearly 25, but it suits me and I am eternally grateful for the name and the family that has come with it.

For some reason, ScottE and I got onto topic of past choices and what we could or should have done differently. While I typically think of my life as one of some poor choices, I usually chalk everything up to what was meant to be. But today I was listening to the song "Letter to Me" by Brad Paisley and it got me thinking about what I would write if I could send myself a letter at 17. That was a time in my life when I was making some major decisions, choices that have had a great impact on the person that I am now. It was when I lost my virginity. It was when I listened to the LDS missionaries for the first time. It was when I decided to move away from my family to be with the man I knew I would marry. It was a time of profound impact, good and bad. I don't want to say that I regret any of those choices (except perhaps the choice to engage in premarital sex) because if I hadn't made the choices I did, it is likely I wouldn't be where I am today. It is possible that ScottE and I could have ended up together. It is possible that we could still have our precious little boy. But the fact remains that we just don't know. I too often play the "what if" game with myself and wind up strolling down memory lane, wondering if I always made the right choices in life. Remembering and wallowing are very different and I hope I manage to only do the former. I don't want to wallow in my past. It's in the past for a reason. While there are some things I occasionally wish I had done differently, for the most part, I am pretty happy with where I am in my life right now. I think the only real wish I have is to have another baby and that's something that should come with time and practice ;-)

A New Process

2011-06-02T12:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I got to run into town and feel accomplished. I participated in my school stuff and got the minimum completed for now. I got inventory processed for ScottE and got to spend time with my boy. I got to watch some cool racing and beautiful men (i.e. Vin Diesel!). I even restarted LOTR, which is always a bonus in my book! ;-) I think that I've finally found a way to write everyday... I know that it won't be fail proof because I know there will be days that I want to write and ScottE will be home or we will be out running errands or something, but I'm taking full advantage of this app! I just discovered a lot of new features. While I don't particularly like typing on my phone (as opposed to using the computer), it's a lot easier because I can more easily put it down and walk away when Ender should need something. He doesn't really like me sitting at the computer much and with how much he likes buttons, it's tough to have him on my lap anymore while I'm trying to work. I think this is a reasonable solution for now ;-)

I started a new blog today for Ender. I think that someday we will look back on it and be very grateful that I did. There is already so much that I've forgotten and he's not even 2! I think this is something I will do for all of my children... I hope they will appreciate all of the work that I put into it for them...

Anyway, now that this is just for me ;) lol... I felt pretty good yesterday. I've been easing into a new diet. I recently tried to do a round of the hcG diet which is great and I lost 11 pounds, but it was way too hard and even easier to cheat. I did really well for the first bit, but lost momentum and felt I couldn't go on. This new diet that I have been introduced to, though, is much more doable... I've just been needing to ease I to it because I have to greatly reduce (okay, eliminate) my sugar intake and there are too many things in the house that are still a temptation. I am slowly eating everything, but I am also trying to eat better all around. More veggies and less processed stuff. The only issue that I have with this diet is that the only snack option it gave for my body type (it's called the body type diet) is a hard boiled egg. I HATE hard boiled eggs!! I'll eat them almost any other way, but NOT hard boiled. I guess I just need to do a little more research to see what other options there are for me. I really think this is going to work for me though! I want to lose about 20 pounds, so it's going to take time, but I'm willing to be patient ;)

Other than dieting, life is good. School is going well. I feel like I'm fitting in with the group that I've been placed with pretty well and my team assignments have been smoother. I'm a little worried about finding a job because the economy is so on the fritz and districts are currently fighting to just keep the teachers they have. Hopefully I'll be able to get my foot in the door somewhere, somehow and something will open up for me.

Until later...

Motorcycles, Daffodils and Physical Therapy

2011-05-13T23:09:00.000-04:00

I have had a lot of things running around in my old brain pan... but have not taken the time to write things out like I know that I should. ScottE and I had a stupid fight the other day and I took a bit of time to begin the process of purging my feelings and realized how much better I felt after doing so. I realize this is not always possible as I hate my handwriting and am not always near a computer. My phone is often a great resource, but it is currently out of commission because I am a duffus and updated it without thinking. I am hoping to remedy that soon.

What has been going on with me? you may or may not be asking yourself. For the most part, life has been treating us pretty well. ScottE is currently in Dallas, Texas with Papa Greg to obtain a motorcycle. So, I am here, alone as I so frequently am. Most of the time I don't mind, but over the weekend is unusual. I am coping though.

Spring is in full swing here and the world is green again. A couple of weeks ago, I was privileged to go on a motorcycle ride with ScottE and Papa Greg. We rode down to our old stomping grounds of Mount Joy. It was about a 3 hour trek and on a motorcycle, that's a really long time. It was a very enjoyable time though. Initially it was cold, but eventually it warmed up sufficiently and we got to shed some layers. It is such an incredible experience on a motorcycle. The world looks so much different and you are really able to see things much more clearly. When we went, spring was just getting started and many flowers were in bloom – including two of my absolute favorites, tulips and daffodils. They were so beautiful. I can't wait to plant some around our house!

As we were riding, I kept thinking about this time when I was in junior high. My mom spent a lot of time working on our flower beds. I couldn't say how much, but I know that she was proud of her work and would hate to see someone destroy it. I had just gotten home from school and I saw these kids picking my mom's flowers. I was furious! I ran outside, screaming, “You get back here with my mom's flowers!” I never saw where they went, but they dropped the daffodils around the corner. I picked them up and brought them into the house to be put in a vase. When my mom got home, I told her what happened because she saw the flowers in the vase. She dubbed me the “Keeper of the Daffodils.” It was an eventful day to say the least, but I was proud.

I hope that I can continue to be the “Keeper of the Daffodils” and grow some of my own someday. Perhaps one of my children will continue with the tradition and become “Keepers” themselves.

In other news, Ender is doing well. His vocabulary never ceases to amaze me. He is very much a parrot already, which means I have to be careful what I say. Not to say that I use inappropriate language, but it is amazing how words change when they are heard from the mouth of a child. It reminds me of when my oldest niece was 3 and said the word “stupid.” Not really a bad word, but definitely not appropriate for a toddler to be saying!

Today, we were sitting in the living room and I had the windows open because the weather has been so beautiful. I have a box fan on a table and the wind was coming through and spun the fan blades. Not really thinking anything of it, I hear Ender say, “Oooo! Cool!” It was so adorable and incredibly unexpected. He's growing up way to fast!

Ender's physical therapy is going well. We had his initial appointment last week and he had another appointment today. He is standing a lot more and trying to transfer from articles of furniture. He is trying to develop his balance and his therapist says that he is making great progress. For the time being, he has weekly appointments. I have exercises to do with him everyday and hopefully he will be more independent soon! He already is pretty independent, but it would be wonderful if I didn't have to carry him every time we needed to go somewhere!

Hopefully May will be a month full of creativity and wonder. The weather has been fantastic but I am hoping to really get into a groove of writing on a regular basis as well as participating in my school forums more consistently. Wish me luck! ;)

Ford Girl

2011-04-02T17:46:00.000-04:00

I've been telling more friends and family about my blog and as a consequence have been thinking more and more about writing, at least in general. I constantly have this running monologue in my head about what I would write if I had the availability to sit down and write just then, but most of the time these things go on at the most inopportune moments – usually when I'm driving. If someone has a suggestion to remedy this issue, please, speak up! I'm dying to get these ideas on paper (or at least screen), but have no idea how to document them as they come. I don't feel that speaking them aloud is plausible because of Ender and also because my thoughts are rarely one tracked. I usually get off on some tangent and then come back around to my original track and get off again at some point. It would be really confusing to try to decipher my thoughts that way! Any suggestions though, I am very much open! ;)

So, what exactly, you might be asking has been circling my brain pan? Oddly enough, stuff about cars. As I was driving home yesterday, I kept thinking about my dream car – namely what I would be dreaming of driving if I weren't so bent on ensuring we had something for the large (or at least more than 3 children) family we've been anticipating we would have. I was thinking about cars versus SUVs and the benefits of both. Much to the chagrin of my parents, I am oddly brand loyal. I am very much a Ford girl, through and through. ;) Even in the area we live now, I would be able to use a car, so long as it had All-Wheel drive. My first choice would be a Taurus or a Fusion. If money were no object, I would still like to stay in the “Ford family” and I would get a Lincoln of the same models.

However, given our circumstances, I have planned to eventually acquire an Expedition, as my first choice anyway. I wouldn't mind a Freestyle, but they are more difficult to come by and don't have a lot of cargo room or ground clearance. Someday, I will get the car of my dreams... for the time being, though, I am grateful to have a vehicle to get me from point A to point B. Right now that vehicle is a Chevy Tahoe. Alas, my dream of being a Ford family has been temporarily dashed, but I know that one day, ScottE and I will both be driving Ford trucks!! ;)

Aside from my day dreaming of Fords, there has been a great deal of other things on my mind... namely getting Ender motivated to walk and getting back into school. As far as Ender is concerned, I have gotten him started in the process of enrolling him in Early Intervention. His coordinator came by for an initial meeting and interview on Wednesday. She asked some preliminary questions to get a base line for what programs should be provided for Ender. I will be getting more information from her soon – 2-3 weeks from Wednesday (I'm assuming).

On a very excited note, I will be going back to school on Tuesday!! I am super thrilled to be getting back into my routine and finishing my degree. My brief sabbatical has pushed back my graduation a bit, so I won't be finishing until September of 2012, but I really needed a break. Constant enrollment in a class and not having a break for the past year and a half or so was very tiring, regardless of the fact that it's “only online.” Many have given me a hard time about going to school online rather than going to a traditional school. I agree that online is a lot easier and sometimes I wish I had gone to a brick and mortar. But the thing of it is, I really wanted to be home for my children. I didn't want to have to find a babysitter or pay for daycare. I wanted to raise my children myself. I knew that if I enrolled in a traditional school, when I did have children, I would either drop out and not finish, or would go bankrupt trying to care for my children. I didn't want either. When the opportunity to go presented itself, I really put my foot down with ScottE and expressed to him how important it was for me to start now rather than waiting “until the perfect time” because I knew that would never come. There would always be something standing in the way of me and my education. It may not be the best there is and it may be “easier” than other routes, but it works for me and mine.

I am also glad that Winter is going away! We have been getting a mild sprinkling this week, but most of the snow has melted and given way to an abundance of mud. It's still pretty cold out there, but things are getting better. Today has actually been a pretty day! ;)

Life is going to get pretty hectic as I try to reestablish my routine for school and spending time with an ever increasingly active little boy. I'm sure I will find the motivation to take advantage of his nap times and get things done during the day rather than waiting until night time / the last minute to accomplish my goals for the day. Wish me luck!

A trip to Cabela's ;)

2011-03-22T14:27:00.001-04:00

Well... I had started a blog and then got lost in it and realized that I really didn't need or want to go into all of the stuff that I did. So, instead of rewriting, I've decided to just start over. ;)

As always, I feel the need to start with the current weather. We had most of the snow melted and then we've had a surprise storm sneak up on us. The ground is once again covered in a clean blanket of white and we're expecting more snow tomorrow. It's been nice to be rid of the ice, but the ground has become squishy and slightly disgusting. Walking on it is tough and driving through it is even more difficult at times. Regardless, we are doing the best we can to survive.

Last Friday was Ender's first doctor's appointment in way too long. Everything has checked out pretty well for the most part. He's pretty much on track with his vocabulary (which increases daily!), but the doctor was a little concerned about the fact that he is still not walking. She advised that I get in touch with the “early intervention” program of PA and they would observe him and possibly implement some kind of physical therapy program. I'm not all that concerned because he has been making some great strides of late. He lets us hold his hands, but he has to pull himself up – we can't stand him up. He has been climbing up and down from the couch by himself and he is pushing up on his hands and walking around on his feet with his little bum in the air. I just know that he will be walking within the next couple of weeks! ;)

I still have to get him caught up on his shots and get some blood work done but I am so very grateful to have found a great pediatrician!

Speaking of Ender's vocabulary... he has really taken to parroting what we say. We ask him to repeat what we say when he wants something. His pronunciation isn't quite perfect yet, but he is really trying. He watches our mouths to try to figure out how we are saying the words. It's so adorable to listen to him imitate what we say. Over the course of the next few days, I'm going to try to write down all of the words he says spontaneously.

This past weekend was a lot of fun. We didn't really do anything to celebrate St. Patrick's Day because neither of us are Irish enough to justify it and we kind of view it as an excuse for people to just go out and get drunk. Not being drinkers ourselves, it just seems a little silly – at least for us... that doesn't mean we dislike the holiday or find those that celebrate it to be ridiculous or anything like that. ;) Anyway... Saturday we went to Cabela's with Mama and Papa Liggett. We went with the intention of finding some cold weather clothes, possibly a shotgun and very likely a bunch of ammo. Being the weekend, the store was pretty packed. Initially it was tough just to navigate the store. ScottE and Papa Greg were looking at the shotguns while Mama Cathy, Ender and I went looking throughout the rest of the store. The only issue that I usually have with Ender while shopping is when I stop to look at stuff... plus he was really tired because he refused to nap on our way down. I was irritated and frustrated because I couldn't really do any shopping. We decided to go to lunch and come back to the store.

After lunch we returned to Cabela's. Mama wasn't feeling up to dealing with the crowds again, so she stayed in the Jeep with Ender. I was really grateful because I was able to actually get out and enjoy myself! This is not to say that I don't enjoy spending time with my son... because I really do, but when he starts fussing every time I stop to look at something, it makes it tough to really like going shopping.

Anyway, ScottE really wanted to get a shotgun and I was all for it, but I didn't really feel like standing around waiting to get helped. The boys stayed and looked at the guns, waiting for some assistance, so I decided I wanted to roam the store a little more and see if there was anything that I just couldn't live without. There wasn't ;( so I went back to the gun counter... After a bunch of deliberation, they didn't have the one that ScottE really wanted, which is a Maverick. I reminded him that they sell it at Wal-Mart, so we decided to look at some handguns real quick and then be on our way.

I had kind of roamed the counters to see if there was anything that I really wanted to look at... there wasn't anything that really caught my eye. But ScottE was really determined to get me back into guns. I haven't really felt like shooting or even handling guns since I first got pregnant with Ender. I have a distinct feeling that will change very soon! ;)

We started looking at some of the used guns and I found one that fits my hand perfectly and I can break down with ease! It's a Smith and Wesson M&P. I was kind of hoping to get a 40mm, but ended up getting a 9mm. This one comes with a laser grip and we got it for only $599! It sells brand new for $730 and that's on sale!! Of course that is without the laser grip... I will be headed back to Cabela's to pick it up tomorrow... I'M SUPER EXCITED!!!

In other news... I'm currently sitting in a hotel room and Ender is actually napping, which is a minor miracle. It's been tough getting him to nap lately and I'm very grateful for the current reprieve.

I have a few other things that I want to get done before he wakes up, so until later... ;)

Anniversary celebration

2011-03-10T12:55:00.000-05:00

I thought that Winter had released her icy grip from my little place in the world, but alas, I was wrong. This last weekend we got nearly as much snow as we had all winter! It's been pretty crazy and slightly overwhelming, but we've been getting a lot of help from a family here in our branch. We've been pretty much adopted by the Liggetts. It's been nice having parental and grand-parental figures here in town. Greg has been really helpful. . . watching out for me and Ender as well as taking ScottE out on tow calls.

In addition to the snow, ScottE and I celebrated 6 years of marriage this past Saturday! The Liggetts watched Ender for us and we went to dinner and a movie. We saw Beastly which was pretty good, totally predictable in the literal sense and geared toward the mostly teen crowd, but it was an enjoyable take on the classic story of Beauty and the Beast. Looking back, I kind of wish we had gone to Longhorn Steakhouse instead of the Chinese buffet we decided on, but mostly, no regrets about much. :)

In other news, Ender is standing up!! He pulls up on furniture and is not quite cruising yet, but he's standing up and is very proud of himself. I give him lots of encouragement and do what I can to get him to stand up as often as I think of it. He is also kind of walking around... he keeps his hands on the ground and sticks his little bum up in the air (which is ADORABLE!), but he's not standing up quite yet. I think I have finally found a doctor for him and he has an appointment next Friday. I am really hoping that he's walking by then! ;)

Getting back into school is still a major goal for me. I am really hoping to get my fingerprint clearance card within the next few days so that I can return to class. I was really needing a break and am very grateful to have had this recent sabbatical, but I'm looking forward to completing my degree. I can't do that if I'm not in school! ;) lol

Other than that, life is pretty normal and relatively happy. :) I didn't get to go and see ScottE this week which made both of us a little sad, but it makes this weekend that much more special. No news on the pregnancy front just yet, but I will keep everyone updated as the news transpires. ;)

Too much TV

2011-03-02T11:55:00.000-05:00

I feel like winter is coming to an end. The snow is beginning to melt and life will soon be getting back to normal. I've been trying to get out more and not just to hotels (which I'm sitting in right now). I'm trying to spend more time with family... it's still a work in progress, but I think I'm really starting to get better about not spending all of my time at home. I'm still watching too much TV, but I'm working to stop that too.

I've looked back over my past few posts of my Gratitude and Prayer blog and it seems that I continue to need to work on the same things – patience, time management and being in the moment. I don't like to repeat myself (just as ScottE, he'll tell you). I find myself in the same arguments, fighting the same problems. I am a big procrastinator, always have been. I've been trying desperately to fix this, but am finding a serious lack of motivation. When I get up in the morning (which is not as early as it should be), I make breakfast and then sit down in front of the TV. I only plan to watch one episode of something and then set to work on the house, but that one episode turns into 3 before Ender goes down for his nap. Then I tell myself that I'll only watch one more while I wait for Ender to be fully asleep, and that one more turns into another 3. I know the only way to really solve the problem is to not turn the TV on in the first place, but I really enjoy having something to do while eating. What's a girl to do?

I have been trying to get my attitude under control. Things are better when I get to see ScottE on a regular basis, but it's a lot of work getting everything together to come and stay in a hotel for part of the week. Hanging out, waiting for ScottE to get done with work is almost like being at home doing the exact same thing; I just don't have everything that I would normally have on hand. The best part is the fact that I get to spend time with ScottE! ;)

This Saturday, ScottE and I will be celebrating 6 years of marriage. It's hard to believe that I've been married for that long! Especially looking around at the world and seeing the divorce rate going up on a constant basis, especially in those my age. This is not to say that ScottE and I haven't had our problems... because we've had more than our fair share. But with each passing day, I realize how truly lucky I am and how very grateful I am that I don't have to worry about dating, or finding someone to complete me. Because I'm already complete! I do not envy those who are trying to find that perfect someone... ScottE knows me. He knows what I like and what I don't. He knows what to say to snap me out of a bad mood. He knows how to make me laugh, make me happy. I really wouldn't want to reteach someone all of those things. New relationships are fun. They are full of giddiness and butterflies. You know what though? They are also full of uncertainty. Knowing your partner inside and out makes everyday meaningful. It may seem mundane or at times boring, but I would not change my life for the world!!

Ender is growing up... I've posted some new pictures and a video on Facebook. I hope that you all enjoy them. I'm going to be making a greater effort to take more pictures and to write more. I hope to avoid the mundane, but mundane is better than nothing. ;)

Unanswered Prayers

2011-02-10T09:57:00.000-05:00

Why is it that I seem to want to write more when I'm sitting in a hotel room? It's not like I'm doing anything differently than I would be at home... perhaps it's because Ender is in the same room and I can't talk on the phone or really do anything else that may make noise. When at home, I usually will do the house work before sitting down to watch TV. Right now the only thing I can do is type (which makes a little noise) and watch TV because his playpen is pretty close to the sink so I can't exactly do the few dishes that need to be done... so here I am ;)

As I was driving yesterday, the song “Unanswered Prayers” by Garth Brooks came on. When I was younger, I didn't really like the saying “the man upstairs.” I found it disrespectful and rude. This is not to say that I like the saying more now than I did then, that's not the case. I guess I just better understand why people call Him that now for some reason. At any rate, I started thinking about the concept of an “unanswered prayer.” I've come to the realization that this statement is an unfair assessment of not getting what you want. Just because we didn't get what we asked for doesn't mean the prayer wasn't answered.

I equate this to my relationship with Ender or any parental relationship for that matter... just because a child asks for something, does not necessarily mean that he or she will get what they asked for – or even immediately. Right now I am trying desperately to teach Ender patience. He asks for something and expects to get it right away. I try to appease him as best I can, but sometimes I am doing something and I can't give him what he wants. His latest thing is wanting to be held while I cook. Sometimes I can hold him, but other times, I need both of my hands! He screams and cries and I do what I can to console him, but it's tough...

So how must Heavenly Father feel when we throw a fit or write a song about not getting what we want? I realize that most adults don't scream and cry just because they don't get what they want right away, but this song really strikes a chord with me. It makes me think about my attitude and how I react to things, but mostly it reminds me that Heavenly Father wants what is best for us, just like we do for our earthly children. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know that he wants what is best for me and my family. I know that sometimes it takes patience and acceptance before I can get what I want and/or need. Does this knowledge make things easier? Not really, but it's a comfort to know and understand these things because someday, I will be okay with these concepts. Right now, it's nice to contemplate the theory of my acceptance. ;)

Journey Home

2011-02-04T21:23:00.000-05:00

The events of today have been pretty crazy to put it mildly. It started off as a really good day. I set off from the hotel, got breakfast and fuel for me and headed home. The truck was running great and while Ender wasn't sleeping like I had hoped, he was in a decent mood, as usual. We were about 3 or so miles south of Wilkes-Barre when I heard this pop. Initially I thought that maybe something in the bed had settled or that maybe I had hit something or something had hit me without realizing it. The car behind me slowed down and put on their hazards, so I thought the best course of action would be to pull over to check on the truck. I walked around the back, checked all of my cargo, nothing looked out of place. So I thought it best to check the tires because as I neared the side of the road, it started driving funny. The passenger side looked fine and upon rounding the back quarter, I found the culprit – my back tire had blown out. I started FREAKING OUT... internally of course, but still...

I called ScottE right away. I do know how to change a tire but I was sure that we didn't have a jack or a lug wrench in the truck. I had no idea what I was going to do because I knew that he was at least a couple of hours away, plus he still had a site to complete. He decided to call our buddy Greg who is a tow truck driver. A few minutes later he called me back and said that Greg was actually on his way south and that he was just north of Wilkes-Barre which made this difficult situation a bit easier to handle.

I got instruction on how to lower the spare so that I had something to do while I waited to be rescued. Plus I knew that Greg was doing us a monstrous favor and I didn't want to take more of his time than was absolutely necessary. I got the spare lowered and tried to get the hook off so that it would be ready upon Greg's arrival. Not ever having removed a spare from a pick-up truck, I had no idea how this device worked!

So I went back into the truck and called ScottE, again. He explained it to me and suggested that I extend the wire all the way out so that I could pull the spare completely out from under the truck and then remove the hook. After a lot of finagling, I was able to get the spare out and ready.

I think that had I just sat in the truck it would have seemed like an eternity for Greg to get there. Fortunately, I had something to do. After I finally got it done, in no time at all, my hero arrived! I was sitting on a two-lane stretch of the turnpike and traffic wasn't all that heavy but rather disrespectful – most of them refused to get into the left lane, even when there was plenty of time and space to do so. Greg was flabbergasted.

In what seemed like 5 minutes, the tire was off and replaced, something I totally would have been able to do had I had the proper equipment... but after we got the spare on and synched down, we realized we had another problem – there wasn't enough air in the tire! Normally Greg would have just used the chuck on his tow truck, but apparently it is not currently in working order. Fortunately there was enough air in the spare for me to limp the truck the 2 miles up the turnpike to the nearest exit and the 0.5 mile or so down the ramp to the nearest gas station. However once we got there, we found out that their compressor wasn't working because of the cold. Greg bought a little air pump that plugs into the cigarette lighter. It took a little while but we were able to get air in the tire so that I could make it home.

And after stopping at Wal-Mart, I did just that.

What did you do today?

Catharsis

2011-02-03T11:32:00.000-05:00

Well, well... it's now into February and no blog from the world the Holmans of northeast PA. A lot and yet nothing at all has changed since my last post... Thanksgiving came and went with an air of gratitude and fellowship. Our trip out to California was eventful, slightly stressful, but most importantly a lot of fun. We got to see a lot of people we (or at least ScottE) hadn't seen in some time and ScottE got to spend a lot of time working on cars which is something he greatly enjoys but has very little time to do on a regular basis.

The stressful part came when we were ready to come home... we planned to drive home, in a car that we co-signed for – the current owner is unable to make the payments and is wanting something smaller that gets better fuel mileage – but after a lot of debate was unable to give up the car because she has nothing else to drive. Completely understandable since she is a single mother and needs to work, but the problem was we bought one-way tickets in anticipation of our drive home and she had told us that we could take possession of the car because we had been making the payments for both the loan and the insurance for the past few months. Suffice it to say that we ended up flying home with the promise of delivery of our car within the next few months. We'll just have to wait and see.

I don't know if I've mentioned this at all to anyone, but in November we decided to try to sell our car. Initially I was hesitant because I really like having a car because it makes getting around for just me and Ender much easier. I wasn't ready to give that up so easily, but after much deliberation, we decided it was best for the family in the long run. About a week into 2011, the car sold!! We were kind of surprised but very grateful that the car sold so quickly and easily... we even made a bit of a profit! So we have a car loan paid off and will soon be inheriting another... c'est la vie.

In addition to selling our car, we are planning to buy a 4 wheel drive. We've been having some pretty crazy storms lately and right now we can't even get up our own driveway! It's been a little frustrating and slightly embarrassing, but we are surviving and I guess that is what really counts. ;)

Aside from all of the news about our past and future transportation, things are going relatively well. Ender's vocabulary expands with every hour and he's nearly grown a mouthful of teeth (I think he has 13 or 14 now). He's still not walking which is a bit of a concern but for the most part I'm not worried. He's freaking brilliant and grows smarter everyday. He's learning his colors – he can't yet identify other items but he has several toy balls of different colors and he knows which one is green and which one is yellow. He tries to mimic what we say and his taste buds are developing... he doesn't like hot stuff as much as he used to. He is already beginning to develop the attitude of a 2 year old and he's not even 18 months old yet!!

As it's been said, the only constant in life is change. Things have been changing in my life, some due to my own choices, others due to the choices of those in my life. For the most part, these changes have been positive. I'm really trying to take the baby steps towards making my life what I really want it to be. I know that it's going to take time to establish the habits I want and it's hard to not get caught up in the “all or nothing” mentality and then fall into bad habits. I have good days and bad, but I'm trying and that's what counts, right?

One of the biggest things that I want to work on is writing more. I forget (and I know I say this a lot!) how cathartic it is to sit down and get all of my feelings out in the open. It really doesn't matter if I actually post it to the world or not. What really matters is getting everything off my chest and in the world of a journal or a word processor.

Another thing that I'm working on is losing some weight. I have about 25ish pounds that I would like to lose. I know that so many use the new year to establish new habits, but I would like to think that I have been trying to do these new things throughout the past year and am really wanting this year to be better than the last. I'm looking for healthier recipes and an exercise program that is neither boring nor overly strenuous. I'm also cutting down on my portions and that seems to be helping at least a little. ;) and I'm open to suggestions from anyone...

School is currently on hold because of procrastination on my part. I needed to get some testing done and fingerprints taken and processed. I've gotten the testing done and the kit for the fingerprints has arrived, but I have to go to a certified technician (i.e. the police department) but I have to pay for the processing. It's been a bit of a process, but it's in the works and I'm hoping to be back to school within the month.

I don't know why it takes me so long to sit down and write an update... perhaps because sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming. I definitely will be posting some pictures soon, whether on here or Facebook, I'm not sure yet. First I need to take some pictures! ;) anyway... I'm sitting in a hotel, listening to Ender not take his nap and wondering what I'm going to do to pass the time of today. I'm sure that I'll think of something. I've missed this feeling! (and my laptop ;) )

Healing properties

2010-10-27T20:45:00.000-04:00

I am beginning to fully understand the healing properties of water. I have discovered that I drink way too much caffeine and that I really need to start cutting back. I have also discovered that on days when I don't have any, I get a little irritable and very tired easily. I guess you could safely say that I am addicted. I hate feeling like I have to have something, especially a substance of any kind. Realistically, I can quit, but part of me really doesn't want to... however, I am stronger than that! I will cut back drastically for sure. But I'm not sure I will eliminate it completely.

Additionally, I have discovered that I really enjoy drinking water. Days that I go without getting enough I feel... I don't know what the right word would be, but suffice it to say that I notice when I don't get enough. I have also discovered that I don't like the taste when it's out of a cup, but when it's in an Evian bottle... it's divine! =) I'm not sure what it is... maybe the psychology of thinking that it's actually Evian water even though I know it's just filtered from my tap... I don't know! But it's working out well for me! =)

SAHM (or Stay at Home Mom) =)

2010-10-20T15:16:00.000-04:00

I read a blog recently that talked about the joys of being a stay at home mom and it got me thinking about the life that I lead. I am pretty happy with how things are right now. I enjoy the time that I get with Ender and how active and talkative he is becoming. It is so awesome to see the changes in him from day to day. I know that it's more difficult because I get to see him everyday and thus don't see the dramatic changes like so many others do. But I get to see the true changes, the discoveries, the epiphanies... the light bulbs =) It is so amazing to watch a child learn and grow.

So, thank you, MaryLynn for the inspiration and well placed ideals!

Writer's induced insomnia

2010-10-19T16:27:00.000-04:00

I don't ordinarily blog about my sleeping habits, but last night was particularly difficult. I kept writing all of these different blogs in my head and was unable to clear my head long enough for my body to relax and go to sleep. I'm not sure what's going on... perhaps it was just the fact that it was the first night I had slept without ScottE in some time... or perhaps there is just so much stuff itching to get out of me into the blogosphere! =) Who knows... I guess I'll just have to retest the theory tonight.

I actually got to bed at a good time last night. I was in bed by 10:30 and had the lights out by 11. I was able to wash my face, brush my teeth, read my Scriptures and say my prayers, turn the light out by 11 and it still took me so much time to fall asleep. I chalked it up to perhaps too much caffeine throughout the day (I had a Red Bull and some Diet Mountain Dew because I had a BUNCH of stuff to do yesterday), but then I figured that it had been long enough since my last drop of caffeine that it shouldn't have affected me so much. Was I wrong?? I'm going to do some experimentation and see what helps. Perhaps if I had just taken the time to write out all of the ideas that were roaming around in my mind... I guess I'll try both approaches and see what shakes out. First I will try to not drink as much caffeine, and perhaps get up and write things out. Then I will try just getting up and not adjusting my caffeine intake. Wish me luck! =)

Weekends are tough... at least for blogging! =)

2010-10-18T21:56:00.000-04:00

So, I have been way worse about this than I thought I would be. You would think that I could make a commitment for just 3 months, but I guess not! Part of why I don't blog on the weekends though, is because ScottE is gone so much during the week and when he's here we like to spend as much time together. Blogging isn't exactly interaction between the two of us! =) Either way, I will find some way to make it up!

What's been going on, you ask? Well, a lot and yet nothing at all! We got a new desk over the weekend and it is absolutely b-e-a-utiful. It's black and has a shelf for our printer/scanner and gives me more room that I really know what to do with! This is the first desk that we've gotten for a very specific purpose... for school and work orders. It's nice to have something so specific! It's going to take some time to get everything adjusted properly though... =)

I am planning to go out and see ScottE wherever he is working again this week. It's really nice to get that “ScottE - fix” in the middle of the week! I got so spoiled spending so much time with him last week that I don't think I could go a whole week again without seeing him...

Another class is down for me and it seems I still have so many more to go. I just finished a Foundations of Education course and will be beginning Childhood Development next block. I'm looking forward to it, but looking over the synopsis, it appears like it's going to be a lot of work; which is good and bad because a lot of my courses have been pretty easy so far.

In other news, I got my hair cut over the weekend too. I only wanted a bit of a trim, to clean up the ends and help it to grow longer and healthier. My stylist had slightly different plans and took off more than I really wanted her to. She took an inch off of the length and it feels like I'm back to where I was over a year ago. On the plus side, she cut off most of the blonde that I put in nearly 2 years ago! I'm still a little sad but I know it'll grow back... just like the grass... =) lol

I think that's all for now... I will do my best to write some tomorrow! :P

Post 23

2010-10-14T20:29:00.000-04:00

It's only the second day of my promise to myself and this post is going to be one of those "today was pretty much the same as every other day" posts, although not entirely. Since we are still in Lancaster, we were able to go and spend some time with a family we hadn't seen in some time. They all got a major kick out of Ender (no surprise there!) and we had some fun. It was just an afternoon visit, but there's my day! =)

Until tomorrow! ;)

Here's to 100

2010-10-13T23:16:00.000-04:00

I am sitting in a hotel room in Lancaster, and while I should be doing my final or perhaps processing work orders, instead, I am writing a blog. Last night as I lay in bed trying to get my brain to shut up long enough for my body to relax and fall into Wonderland, I had this aspiration of reaching 100 posts on this blog by the end of the year. A relatively lofty goal, seeing as I only have 21 now. However, after some calculations, I have realized that if I post something, even if it's just a picture or video, or little blurb saying that “today was just like every other day,” it's still something and it will get me there. So, here's to 100. Wish me luck!

There were so many other things rolling through my brain last night and I really wish that I could remember at least some of them... but alas, having children kills brain cells (it's true, my best friend told me so), and I have completely forgotten everything that I wanted to write about. Perhaps the added benefit of having the ability to blog on my phone will stint this phenomenon. But until that happens, or it's a night that ScottE is out of town, this will probably be a common note in my blog. =)

Life is going well. It's been a bit of a challenge all around to have ScottE gone a lot right now, but it is a sacrifice we knew we would be making when we moved to Springville. It is nice to be able to come and see him every once in a while though; even if it means living without some of our everyday amenities (won't be happening in the snow!).

Ender is doing phenomenally well with everything these days. He's eating so many new things but it's still a little difficult to find things that he can feed himself without making too much of a mess. He eats a LOT of macaroni and cheese! Hands down his favorite thing right now, next to bananas of course. One other thing that I forgot to mention earlier is that he says “dada” for please. It's so cute! I know that it's not actually “please,” but it's a heck of a lot better than him screaming or fussing for food!

Until tomorrow... we'll see how long I can keep this up =)

Nearly 14 months

2010-10-09T14:46:00.000-04:00

For some time now, I've been wanting to write an update on just the antics of Ender. Yet, I find myself even procrastinating something so simple! I will (yet again) be making a better effort to record his life and that of those who will be joining our family in the future! (NOTE: this is NOT an announcement of any kind, just an acknowledgment that more children will be had in the future.)

So, what has Ender been up to?

He is FINALLY crawling and very much in the conventional sense of the word. I wish all of you could see him. He gets so excited when we put him on the floor and he gets to move on his own.
He is discovering his independence. He likes to crawl into the kitchen and see what he can get into. When I have to go to the bathroom, I usually let him know that I'm leaving, go ahead and do so, calling to him the whole time. Generally, by the time I'm done, he has found me and gets all proud of himself when he does so. It's pretty cute.
He loves to talk to Daddy on the phone. Unfortunately moving up here to Springville keeps ScottE away from home more so than before. We knew this would happen and is a sacrifice we are making for the time being. However, Ender gets so excited when I'm on the phone. Since it's usually Daddy, I will put it on speaker so Ender can not only hear Daddy, but can talk to him as well. I posted a video on Facebook, but you can see it here:
He is eating all kinds of foods these days! I guess you could say that he's eating true “big boy foods!” He loves bananas (is he really mine? lol), scrambled eggs, hot dogs, grapes, stroganoff, spaghetti, peas and carrots, creamed corn, lunch meat... etc. He makes a pretty big mess partly because of what he eats and the fact that he refuses to let anyone feed him anymore (as shown below), but we are loving the learning experience! =)
He has FINALLY mastered a sippie-cup. He absolutely LOVES orange juice. We try to get him to drink at least some water, but it doesn't always work out that way. At least he is finally hydrating himself. We usually water the OJ down a little so that it's not totally concentrated, but that is pretty much the only thing he will drink!
He has so many teeth! I know for sure that he has 4, but I also know that more are coming in because it is growing increasingly difficult to brush his teeth at night.
He is saying a bunch of things:

na-nana (banana)
na night (to go to bed)
momma
dada (of course)

and making all kinds of other noises! His jabbering is so cute and I can't wait until some true words come through. He also can point at things to let us know what he wants. He will crawl across the room and point, usually at his juice, and scream or try some other way to get my attention. It's so cute, but I wish the screaming would stop. He really tries to mimic the sounds we make when we talk to him. Hopefully he'll find another way to communicate soon! =)

I think that's really all of his recent antics. I am so grateful to have the family near that we do, but I wish everyone was out here! The foliage is so beautiful right now... with so many colors it's unreal. The beauty created by our Heavenly Father is unmatched!

Chaos

2010-09-13T10:48:00.001-04:00

Well, it's been far too long since I've written anything. I always forget how much I love writing, but with the move, things have been more than a little chaotic. Things are really starting to settle down now though. We are getting back into our routine and I'm really hoping this time around will include writing for me! =)

The house is really coming together a lot faster than any other place we have lived before. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we don't have everything here with us. We put a lot of things in storage so we have been able to just have the things that we need here at the house. It has made unpacking much easier... I think once I get the empty boxes out of here, things will really start moving along again. Unfortunately for Ender, things have been piling up in his room because it's the only room with any space...

Speaking of my little man =)... he is doing really well! He's been cutting all kinds of teeth lately but has be dealing with everything quite well. He sleeps a lot which has made Mommy's life much easier. He is becoming more and more mobile. He is almost crawling in the traditional sense of the word, but he also rolls around a lot. He is growing less content with just being on the floor, at least not when Mommy is in the room. He is becoming quite the Momma's boy! He eats so much these days and has started eating big boy food! =) He loves eggs, honey nut Cheerios, yogurt and pretty much anything else he can get his hands on! I've been trying to just give him things that will be easy for him to chew but he also doesn't always chew his food. A lot of the times he just swallows things whole, which is also kind of scary, but he does pretty well with not choking (at least not often enough for me to stop feeding him).

We don't have TV anymore, but we do have a home phone and Internet, which we haven't had in a very long time! =) It's been really nice to not have to worry about having to connect to someone else's network or using the air card from ScottE's work. It's been nice not having TV, but I've been watching a lot of movies. We really need to increase our library! I've already watched several and am getting tired of watching the same ones... hint hint =)

Our trip out to California was a lot of fun... it was really nice to go back and spend time with family and friends. I was really grateful to those who drove us around or housed us or fed us.

Not that I got to experience this when we were there this last time, but one of the things I miss most about California is fog. You know, the crisp, cool, refreshing fog of the fall? The first time I experienced fog in PA, I got so excited! I looked outside and saw the mist over the land and thought, “Oh, I'm sure it's gorgeous out there!” I walked out and was sorely disappointed... it was gross and heavy. I felt disgusting just walking around. Well, this morning, I looked outside and it was beautiful. There was a mist all over the fields around our place and it was cool and crisp outside!

I love it up here! =) The only real downside is that ScottE is gone a lot with work. He has applied for another job and we are very much hoping and praying he gets it. He'll be home a lot more and only working 40 hours a week. CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT!!

Life is good =)

Ender's birthday

2010-08-10T14:50:00.003-04:00

A year ago today, I was holding the most precious thing in the whole wide world. Ender Kent was born and changed my life forever. He has been such an amazing little boy. I can't believe he's one already! We have all learned so much over the past year... so far, being a parent has been very easy. Ender makes things effortless. He is so content, happy and just a joy to be with all of the time.

Currently, he is sitting on the floor, playing with a book, squeaking and squealing. He looks over at me and smiles this big goofy grin. Yesterday, he spent the evening rolling all over the floor. He may not be actually crawling per se, but he is mobile! =) He can sit up on his own, but only does it sometimes. I often find him sitting up in his bed when I get him up from a nap or first thing in the morning. He doesn't really like to do it on the floor yet, but I'm sure that will start happening soon! He also pivots on his belly which is super cute. He claps his little hands and it is so adorable... we tell him, “Yay, little boy!” and he just claps away. It's darling, really. =) He talks all of the time... we've turned him around in the car. He looks around at everything. Surprisingly, he sleeps better in his “big boy” car-seat than he did in the other one. I can't believe how big he is now...

I'm looking forward to my trip out west. It is going to be difficult with Ender because he is getting to that point where he won't sit still for very long. It'll be interesting to see how he deals with the plane. ONLY 2 MORE DAYS!! =)

A new idea

2010-08-04T13:08:00.002-04:00

While things are in a bit of a tumult right now for my family, I feel the most calm and collected that I have felt in a very long time. I feel relatively free, and though things are very uncertain at this juncture, I'm okay with that. I have begun to realize that a home is a necessary sanctuary, but in times of need, it is vital to have a grounded and gracious support system. I have been very grateful as of late to spend time with family and friends – people that I have not known very well until our recent decision to be house-less. I have also realized that even though we do not currently have a house, we are not homeless. We have been lucky to have a constant place to stay and I for one am very grateful for that, among many other things that have occurred lately.

I have been reading eat pray love in anticipation of the release of the movie. It has been a very inspirational book. I may not be experiencing everything that this poor woman is going through, but on several levels I can relate. Her story has helped me to realize many things about myself and has prompted, while not as in-depth as hers, a self-exploration of sorts.

Ever since I saw the movie, Julie & Julia, I have been wanting to develop some kind of blog that I would have to write or do something everyday. This has been a challenge for me because I don't like to get stuck in any kind of rut and I was afraid that something like that would cause too much monotony in my life. As I began searching (and reading eat pray love), I began to formulate what it was I wanted to write about. I have decided to develop a play on a prayer journal. I plan to write, everyday, three things that I am grateful for and three things that I need to work on. I plan to elaborate on each thing, so it won't just be 6 statements, leaving the reader wondering what it is exactly that I am talking about. I'm not sure if I will post it everyday or not, but I will at the very least take the time to write down my 6 statements everyday and then post them as I manage my time. I am hoping that I will be able to do it everyday, but we shall see. I guess I'm also looking for some feedback on this idea... let me know what you think! =)

Other than being house-less, things are going really well for us. We've been able to get a few things taken care of and are currently house hunting, which is stressful, but I think I've reached a place where I can be a little zen about it. Ender has been adjusting relatively swimmingly to the waves of change in our lives right now... still not crawling, but I'm not too worried about it. I can't believe he's almost a year old! Where did the time go??

Also, I don't think I mentioned this before, but our car was hit recently. Additionally, it was having some mechanical issues, but we just got it out of the shop this past weekend. It has been so nice to be able to drive the car rather than our pick-up everywhere. I did not realize how much I missed my car! Driving the truck was a little laborious. I am very grateful to have my car back... it truly is the little things that make life grand. =) I really should have taken some pictures to share, but alas, I forgot.

So, I guess I'm looking for a little encouragement on my new idea, but I think I will start the real work on it this weekend. Please, let me know what you think! =) For now, ciao!

Birthday fun and Moving woes

2010-07-21T17:37:00.001-04:00

I had a feeling that after updating my few readers about the minutia that has been going on that I would receive a deluge of inspiration to write. While I haven't really written anything since that time, I have had the urge to do so. Just today I had this vision of myself sitting down in some hotel room and finding the strength and motivation to write each and every day over the course of the next month or so. I'm not sure why. I think part of it is because I won't really have much else to do, but the other part is that I really want to be writing everyday. I just don't have the motivation or energy to do so. I need to just buck up and do it! I know I have at the very least a series of short stories in me... perhaps even a short novel – a novella, or something similar. I'm not getting my hopes up about anything though. And I'm certainly not deluded enough to think that I will ever become a published author, but still I can dream right?

Things have been going very well with the move. We are very quickly learning what we can live with and what we can easily live without. It will be nice to be down to a very few simple things, but it is also very scary to not have everything we are used to having on a regular basis. It's going to be rather interesting to see how Ender reacts to the constant changes that will occur over the next month or so.

On a different note, my birthday has come and gone... it was a good day though! ScottE and I went out to dinner and a movie – Red Robin (YUM!!) and Knight and Day. We had a great time and are very grateful to our neighbor who came over to stay with Ender. She has watched him for us a couple of times now, but he's always been in bed the entire time! Not much of job, but he's such an easy baby anyway! What really topped my night off was when we got home, Sarah (our neighbor) had cleaned my kitchen! I had left a few dishes in the sink from the past few days – I was going to get around to it the next morning, but I was ecstatic that I didn't have to worry about it. Probably my favorite gift! =)

Also, a few months ago, ScottE got me an iPhone from a friend of a friend. But it was just a 2G (so first generation) and only 4GB. It was sufficient for me and I was thrilled to have an iPhone. But being the klutz that I am, I dropped it and the screen quit working. I was very sad, but there is this awesome place in Lancaster that fixes all kinds of electronic devices (we had taken my iPhone there to get unlocked because we have T-Mobile). Anyway, I took it down there to get the screen repaired and they decided it probably wasn't worth it, but offered us a 3G for the same price! So, we thought, repair the 4GB or double my storage space for the same price? NO BRAINER!! We decided to get the newer phone. There were a few issues with it at first, and I still don't get great Wi-Fi connectivity, but it's mine and I love it. Kind of a birthday present to myself... =)

Moving sucks

2010-07-13T13:20:00.001-04:00

I've been wanting to post an update for some time now... just haven't found the motivation or even the energy. Things have been a little hectic for us lately – as you continue to read, you will better understand. I know there are some things that I have not written about (i.e. - Mother's Day, Memorial Day, and Father's Day), so I will update you on those things first and then get to the mayhem...

Mother's Day came and went for me this year. Nothing spectacular happened. The only real highlight was that Ender was saying “Momma” at that point in time. He has since ceased doing so. The only joy that brings me is the fact that I know he will say it enough over the course of his lifetime to make up for that lack of it now.

Memorial Day was wonderful. ScottE, Carter and I were able to go to Hershey Park. We had a blast. It was difficult leaving Ender alone for the first time, especially for the full day. But we all survived. We rode all of the roller-coasters in about 2 hours. It wasn't nearly as crowded as we expected it to be which was nice. But we did not go prepared to get wet – which we did because it was really hot that day.

Father's Day we spent in Springville with ScottE's sister and her family. We had a lot of fun, but it was a difficult weekend for me. ScottE had been gone all week and was needed to help with the chicken coop. Add to that the fact that Ender was refusing to take his naps and would not sit down without me, I was a little more than spent. But again, we all survived.

Okay. Recently my computer decided to no longer charge. Apparently the charge port has been damaged somehow. Which really sucks because most of our music is on my laptop, along with nearly all of our pictures from the past year (i.e. - Ender's whole life!). We are hoping to get it fixed soon, but with everything else going on, it's not likely for at least a little while.

The process of moving has begun. It is starting to get very bare in our home. We have already moved our dressers, couches, a desk, most of Ender's baby clothes, clothes we don't plan on wearing any time soon and a majority of ScottE's tools. We have a storage unit in Reading, which is nice, but here is where things get a little tricky. We aren't moving to Reading any more!! After our initial plan fell through, ScottE and I were at a loss for what to do. We were being really picky about where we moved to because we have moved way to much over the course of our 5 year marriage and we are both tired of it. Our plan was to get a very specific unit in Reading, live there for a few years, buy some property up near Jana and her family, then borrow against the equity and put a house on it, then move up there. Well, I guess you could say we're skipping a step.

After much prayer and conversation, ScottE and I have decided the best thing for us to do is to be near family. We are going to be moving up to the Springville/Tunkhannock area which is in northern PA. As of now, we are not entirely sure where we are going to be staying until we find a place of our own, but we are planning to buy a house within the next year (hopefully not that long). It's a little scary not really knowing where we are going, but we are trusting that our Heavenly Father will point us in the right direction when the time comes.

So, aside from the moving debacle, things are going pretty well. I've finally started some of my core classes, meaning my education courses. I'm stoked about that, but dreading the fact that it's been all math. However, there is a silver lining in that I'm getting them done now in the beginning so I don't have to worry about them later, which is really nice.

Ender is now 11 months old!! I can't believe it!! Where does the time go... Everyone told me how quickly it goes (I believed them, but still!). It seems unreal to me that he will be 1 year old here very soon. He is still not crawling, which right now is very much okay with me. Trying to pack everything and keep track of him would be way too much for me to handle everyday. But I'm not all that concerned about him not crawling. I read an article in which the author quoted a doctor who basically said as long as baby is babbling, he/she is developing fine. I can testify that Ender babbles constantly. I love listening to him and talking back to him. His smile and laughter light up a room...

Another big thing going on this summer is I'm going back to CA for a couple of weeks. Initially, ScottE and I were planning to stay in a hotel for a bit until our unit became available in Reading. Now plans have changed, but I'm still coming home. I will be there from August 12th through the 26th. I'm really excited! Ender has grown so much and I've missed my family.

Well... there has been some craziness and some exciting changes in our lives. I hope to not go so long between posts next time! =)

The early bird gets what... to take a nap?

2010-05-25T06:06:00.003-04:00

I have never been an early bird. In fact, I've never really been able to get up at the time when I set my alarm. I simply hit that snooze button as many times as I possibly can justify and get those few precious moments of added slumber. Yet for the past few weeks, I've been waking up much earlier than normal – any time between 4:30 and 5 am – no where close to normal for me. What's a girl to do? Normally, I can just go back to sleep. But this morning, after getting up, using the toilet, getting a drink of water, shifting positions repeatedly, my attempts have amassed to nothing. And here I am, writing to you instead of doing what I would much rather be doing – sleeping!

For as long as I can remember, my dad has been an early bird. Regardless of what time he goes to bed, he wakes up before his alarm. I had always been lucky enough to be able to sleep in until I truly wanted to get up. Is this the start of a new me? Am I going to be getting up with the sun? I'm not sure how long this will continue, but until it changes (or doesn't, I guess), I'm planning to take advantage of it.

In addition to waking up early, the past few weeks have been full of intense conversations, between me and ScottE as well as with our best friend back home, Laura. I'm not sure what else is going on, but there has definitely been some kind of shift within me. I'm calling it “delayed postpartum depression.” I've been rather moody and difficult to get along with. I applaud those who have seen this side of me and have dealt with it rather skillfully. Both ScottE and Laura have been the brunt of my wrath over the past few weeks and for that I am sorry. I know I can be difficult to get along with at times... but I feel we are on the upswing of things as I finally have realized what's going on.

I feel like Ender is growing up, like he's not my little baby anymore. I know he is still very dependent upon me for a lot of things. I'm so happy to see him learning and growing. But a part of me feels like he doesn't need so much from me, or perhaps that our bond isn't as strong as it used to be. Maybe another part of it is the fact that we live so far from all of our family and I've been more than a little homesick. Maybe another issue is just that I don't get out of the house as much as I should (or even could). Maybe I'm just getting baby hungry. Or perhaps my body is just starting to get back to normal after not having its cycle for over a year and a half. I'm not sure what is truly going on, but I do know this: I am aware of it and am doing something about it.

I am very determined to get up at a decent time (which for me is anytime before 7). Yesterday was a hard day, but I know today is going to be better. In point of fact, it already is as I am sitting here rather than lying in bed.

I am going to get out of the house more. I know I've said this in the past, but I am going to set a schedule, and stick to it. I find when I do spend time with others, I tend to stay until they kick me out (or rather politely say they have other things they need to get to), or until Ender or I get tired. I won't do that anymore. I will stay for a couple of hours, then get back to what I had planned for the day. I am hoping this will give me the motivation to actually do it rather than just saying that I will. I don't think I will get as overwhelmed with things this way. Plus, if things are going well, it will allow me to be happy with staying longer periods of time.

I think writing on a much more regular basis will help me with things too. I already feel a lot better about life, just sitting here writing this. I'm not sure what it is but just knowing that at least a few people will read this helps me to realize that I'm not so alone in the world.

So, in addition to all of my emotional/hormonal issues, we are preparing to move. I am looking forward to this particular move with much more excitement than trepidation (at least right now). We are very much hoping that this will be the last move before we buy a house. We thought that about this last move, but financial changes make things more difficult. Things didn't work out here the way we had hoped. But that's okay. We've lived here for over a year already! It's hard to believe that this time last year was much more difficult. We didn't have any of our stuff from the moving company – I was pregnant, sleeping on a leaky air mattress; we had 2 dogs and ScottE was working mostly in VA so he was gone a lot. The changes that have occurred over the past year have been incredible. We really love it here in PA.

I'm not entirely sure what this new leaf is going to bring into our lives. But I'm really hoping that it's more happiness and fewer arguments. So, here's to hoping! =)

Other than the difficult weeks between me and ScottE, things are going really well for Ender. He is starting to sit on his own, though he's not pulling himself up quite yet. He talks all the time and I'm sure we'll have a real word here real soon! I love watching him learn and grow. I'm so grateful to be his mommy! I'm going to be posting pictures and videos soon... I promise!

Inspiration?

2010-05-17T22:45:00.007-04:00

I've been wanting to write something “new” for some time. Perhaps my current creative writing class will provide me with some inspiration to write on a more regular basis. I keep wanting to get more organized, to do things I want/need to do but also to simply get more done. I don't do much of anything during the day and when the night hits, I want to clean! But then I realize that I should get up earlier in the day. So, do I stay up late and then sleep in? Or do I try to get to bed at a decent time and then get up early? I've never been much of an early bird. I keep thinking that will change as I have children but so far, it's not changing at all.

I have recently been inspired to do things differently. I want to have set days for certain things. Last week, ScottE had a night job on Tuesday, so he was home during the day. It was great having him home, but I was unable to do anything that I really wanted to get done. Then Wednesday, he had an afternoon job to make up for his night job the previous day. It was very difficult to get back into my routine of things to do. I'm not sure why, but it really upset me to have my routine so out of sorts. In a way, I blew up at ScottE and we had a significant discussion of why I was upset. I know he didn't really understand, but I tried my best to explain what was going on in my head. Does anyone else have this issue?

Ender is doing really well. We went to the doctor today and he, not surprisingly, got a clean bill of health. He is 19 pounds, 4.5 ounces and nearly 30 inches long! He is getting so big... I'm planning to post some pictures soon.

Speaking of pictures... this past Saturday, we went out to this beautiful mansion and a sister from our ward took pictures for us! I've gotten a sneak peak at them and I can't wait to get the rest of them. She is truly an amazing photographer.

A sad bit in our lives... we no longer have Charli. As most already know, we will be moving this summer (yay...). It just seems to be rather difficult to move with a dog. We've done it before, and it wasn't always a major hassle, but when you are going to be renting a place, dogs limit your options. We've found this incredible place just outside of Reading, but they don't accept dogs, pets really of any kind. We were very sad at first, but we've realized that this is something that is important for our family. Luckily (as I always try to find the silver lining), there is a wonderful family in our ward that was willing to take her. They have 5 children and Charli seems to be fitting in nicely. It almost makes it harder to see that she has been so well received. I know that I will continue to miss her, but for now, I am doing my best to accept the companionship of Ender. It's not the same because he doesn't cuddle under the covers or just sit next to me like Charli did – but I'm coping!

Another bit about Ender – he is such a joy! I love being his mommy...

Whenever he hears music (or even when he doesn't), he moves his head from side to side like he's dancing! It is so cute – I think that's my favorite thing that he does lately.

He's beginning to roll all over the place. I know it won't be long until he's crawling and then I'll really have to get on top of the household cleaning!

He recently discovered that he can yell. He's not usually upset, he just likes to hear his own voice. Not usually that big of a deal, but when we're trying to watch TV or something it gets a little frustrating.

He nods his head yes! I don't think he's actually saying “yes” at this point, but it's a nice thought.

He sticks his tongue out all the time.

It's super cute to watch him discovering things. He holds things in his hands and looks at them, and then of course puts them in his mouth. But first, he looks at it, turns it over in his hands. He is becoming quite dexterous (as ScottE says).

Whenever I say “mom-mom-mom-mama,” he gets this big goofy grin on his face. I just love it!

He is beginning to sit up. You just have to sit him up first.

I think that's the extent of his milestones for now. I'll try to keep everyone more up to date. =)

Rumors and movies

2010-04-27T16:48:00.001-04:00

In my haste to get something posted the other day, I neglected to mention a few of the amazing things that have been going on here. =) One of the major things I wanted to mention was that Ender loves to talk and sing. Unless he's laughing or eating, he's talking or singing. His little voice is so adorable. I love listening to him. =)

Upon reading some other blogs, I've begun to realize that I don't have to always have a lot to say or even something creative, I just need to take the time to write more often. =)

Anyway... to dispel any rumors that are going around in PA, our little family will be moving at the end of July. We are rather sad to be moving from our little community here, but we are looking forward to saving money. It is so hard to uproot our lives so often. We have moved way too many times in the 5 years that we have been married. I think we've decided that this will be the last until we buy a house. We are planning to stay in Reading for a long time to come. Hopefully, we will be able to get things together and save the money we need to finally buy a house.

I am hoping to get some pictures done of the whole family soon. A sister in our ward has offered to take some professional pictures of Ender and I'm hoping she will include me and ScottE!

ScottE and I have also been on a bit of a movie buying binge! I love having movies in the house and with us planning to turn off the Dish at the end of 24, we need some entertainment around here! Our recent acquisitions include: Wall-E, Avatar, the X-Men trilogy, Smokey and the Bandit, French Kiss, 9, Star Trek, The Italian Job and Chicken Run. We also recently recorded a few on our DVR – I went through a major Lord of the Rings phase recently as well. We recorded that a few months ago and I've watched it several times all the way through! I am going to miss having TV in the house, but I'm going to cherish the memories I make with our family even more. Movies are so much more fun anyway! =)

Ender is growing up!

2010-04-22T16:54:00.000-04:00

It seems forever since I sat down to update everyone on what is going on here in central PA. So, here goes:

Ender is officially rolling all over the place. Just this past Sunday he rolled for the first time from his back to his tummy. It seems he is no longer content to just lay on the floor on his back. I'm grateful and yet terrified at the same time. It's been so nice that he's been content to be immobile. =)

He sits really well if he has someone/thing to lean against. I'm trying to get him to sit up on his own, but I don't want to force him to do anything he's not ready or willing to do himself.

I have to admit that I've been a terrible first-time mom. I haven't taken pictures of every waking moment of my firstborn's life! It has been some time since I took any major photos of our little boy. I promise you, I will make an effort to take more over the next few days/weeks and will get them posted promptly.

Ender now has 2 teeth! I noticed the first one a couple weeks ago and then went to show someone his 1 tooth and discovered he had 2! I can't believe it!! I know the next time I blink he'll have a whole mouth full! lol

I recently started doing ScottE's work orders for him. It has taken a lot of stress off of him. He has since been getting home at a reasonable time. Luckily, Ender takes a decent morning nap, so I'm usually able to get the work orders done then. It has been really nice for ScottE to be less stressed about his work. He is getting back to the point of liking his job! It was very frustrating for me to hear him constantly complain about getting what he called “a real job.” I tried to explain to him that he has a great job, he just wanted to work more normal hours. Well, with me processing most of his paper/computer work, he's been a lot happier. And that makes the rest of us happier! =)

Other than that, not much is going on here! I am tentatively putting together a story. I'm not exactly sure of my intentions with it yet, but it's been fun bouncing around ideas and writing something other than a short blog every now and then (which is still not as often as it should be!).

Solids =)

2010-03-01T20:17:00.002-05:00

Well... I've done it again! I've let another month come and go without writing a whole lot. I'm working on getting this thing down. I've decided to make a lot of changes in my life. I'm working on getting a routine put together so I can do the things that need to get done along with the things I want to get done. Hopefully putting some kind of calendar together will help with this. Wish me luck!

So what's been going on here? A lot actually. Ender is now eating solids; Ender is nearly caught up on his shots; bills have been paid – taxes filed and returned; another class down and a seemingly ump-teen million to go!

Eating solids! - and loving it?

Things have been going really well with Ender. He's been eating solids for about two weeks now. I started him on rice cereal and have since tried peas, sweet potatoes and carrots. He did really well the first two days with the rice but then decided he didn't want to eat anymore. I gave him a reprieve for a couple of days and it seems to have worked out for the best. I feed him some cereal all of the time and he usually finishes everything. He's been eating really well. When I tried the peas, he did NOT like them. I was a little frustrated because I know babies tend to not like their green veggies. I'll probably try them again in a couple weeks and see how it goes. However, he LOVES carrots and sweet potatoes. I tried the carrots first and he had a rough time adjusting to the new texture and flavor, but he wasn't spitting it out like he did with the peas. I kept “forcing” it down his throat but since he wasn't spitting it out, I figured he was liking it – at least relatively. After the carrots, I tried sweet potatoes. He LOVES them!! I've even made some myself. He has a rough time with the texture at first (it's not as smooth as the commercial foods), but he gets over it and can't seem to get enough (THANK YOU SO MUCH JANA FOR THE GRINDER!!).

Today it seems like he's going a little backwards. He hasn't wanted nearly as much in the solid department – he's been wanting to nurse a lot. Perhaps he's teething and needing the comfort of Mommy? I'm not sure what's going on... he's sleeping a lot too – not that I'm complaining about that part though! =)

I took him to the doctor on Monday, the 15th. He weighs over 16 pounds now (and now that he's eating solids, growing more each day)! He's really long too – nearly 28 inches. The doctor suggested I start him on solids sooner rather than later – which I've done. They want to be sure he's getting an adequate amount of nutrients, iron specifically. They also prescribed him a vitamin and fluoride supplement. He has been doing pretty well with taking them. He's not particularly fond of his multi-vitamin (I give them to him with a dropper), but he's getting better about taking it. He doesn't spit out as much of it as he used to.

He has another appointment on the 15th of this month and he should be caught up on his shots then. I can't wait to see how much he weighs. He eats so much! I won't be surprised if he's gained at least a couple of pounds. =)

My next class...

I just finished my US Constitution course and will be starting my next class – Art Through the Ages. There is a lot of reading involved. I'm really going to have to set a strict schedule in order to keep up with everything. I know if I just sit down and schedule everything out, I'll be able to stay on top of things. I didn't do as well in my Constitution course because I got lazy. The thing that I struggle with the most is participation. I hate having to respond to people, especially when they don't really respond to me. This class has been nice though because most of my teammates were pretty chatty and responded to a lot of my discussion question posts. I hope this next class goes as smoothly...

Another month has come and gone... I'm hoping to stay on top of things a little bit better this month. I think that because I'll be getting up earlier (at least that's the plan) I'll be able to get more done throughout the day. And since Ender seems to take a good morning nap, I should be able to get the housework done during that time and then be able to write/read/get schoolwork done during his afternoon nap and when he goes to bed. I really need to take the time to set out my schedule for the next month. Hopefully that will help.

I think that's all for now. =) I wanted to upload some pictures with this post, but the uploader is being really slow and I don't feel like waiting for it! I'll try again tomorrow...

Writing for writing's sake...

2010-02-03T21:51:00.003-05:00

I've discovered another reason I don't write more often. I don't think people want to read about the mundaneness of my everyday life. I also feel that unless I have something special to write about, what is the point? Everything just comes out the same as every other post and even I get bored writing it! It may not have been that long, and there may not have been much to change, but I feel the need to write – even if it's about mundane things! =)

Ender is doing well. I can't believe he is nearly 6 months old already! He has yet to roll over, but I think that's mostly my fault. He spends most of his time in his swing, bouncer, my arms or his crib. He gets very little time on the floor because of our dogs. I still am trying to give him tummy time everyday, but it doesn't always happen. Who knows? Maybe he'll skip the rolling over phase and jump right to sitting up! He enjoys standing already. I hold him up so he can put his feet down and stand. He's so cute... he just stands there and looks around at everything. I truly don't remember what life was like before he came into it. It's like he's always been a part of us, a part of the family.

While I'm not really looking forward to him being mobile, I love watching Ender learn. He reaches out and grabs things on a regular basis now. He is constantly hitting the rattle on his car-seat and he has even started pulling it down! It brings a smile to my face when we're driving down the road and all I can hear from the back seat is a rattle being hit and bouncing all over the place. He talks a lot too now and his little voice is gorgeous. It seems like he's practicing his eating too. He watches the food go from our hands to our mouths and then seems to mimic our chewing. He is just growing up so fast! I am definitely enjoying this time with him. He is so cuddly! Sometimes when I'm holding him, he just lays his head against me. I cherish those moments because I know they are fleeting!

I've had a few relatively sleepless nights. I'm not sure if there is just too much going on in my head or what. Last night was particularly hard. It was the first night without ScottE in some time. I got to bed at a decent time (which is around midnight for me), but Ender woke up at 3:30 and then again at 4:30. When he woke up again at 6:30, I had pretty much decided we should both get up, but I still didn't want to. I can usually go in, put his binkie back in his mouth and he'll go back to sleep. He wasn't really having that today. I really should just resign to getting up earlier. =) That is one of my resolutions for this year, but thus far has been unsuccessful. Wish me luck in the days to come!

ScottE and I also buzzed Ender's hair the other day! He had a bunch of long, straggly hairs and I was getting frustrated with it. I think it's super adorable now. We missed a few still but I'm sure we'll go over it again sometime soon. What do you think?

One big change that is coming soon is ScottE and I are giving Halcyon to Jana and Tyler. We're planning to take her up there this weekend. We've discussed it and, while I have mixed feelings about it, I am pretty excited for them to have a puppy. I know Halcyon has grown rather attached to Jana. I am definitely going to miss her as she is my baby... but I know I will be able to see her on a (close to) regular basis. We go up there quite often and are planning on moving up there at some point in the (relative) near future. I know she is going to a good home that will take care of her. It has been a little tough taking care of two dogs and a baby. The dogs aren't all that high-maintenance but I have to take them down our two flights of stairs a few times a day. One of the nice things about being at Jana's is we don't have to put them on a leash when they need to go out. We just let them go. They go outside, do their business and knock on the door when they are ready to come in. So wish we could do that here...

ScottE and I went and got our taxes done last week. We are so excited about our return! We are planning to get a bunch of our bills taken care of and getting a few toys for ourselves as well. CANNOT WAIT!! Also... I cut my bangs the other day! I'm still not sure how I feel about them and ScottE has yet to see them. What do you think?

Well, for not having much to write about, I sure wrote a lot! I really am trying to write at least once a week – we'll see how it goes! Until next time...

A list of firsts

2010-01-25T21:35:00.008-05:00

It has been far too long since I sat down to write the goings-on of the Holman family in PA. I think I had let things lapse for too long and was feeling a bit overwhelmed with how much had happened since I last wrote. While not all that much has changed, there have been some minor milestones which we have crossed - i.e. Ender's first winter and holiday season. For the most part the holidays have come and gone without much change for us; but there are some specifics I want to get into, just for fun. ;)

I promised myself I would write more and here it is nearly the end of January and I have yet to post anything! I will be making a much better effort to not let things go for so long from now on!!

Ender's first Thanksgiving

Since we don't really have any family close by, ScottE and I decided to drive up to see Jana (ScottE's older sister who lives here in PA too – for those who don't know) and her family in northern PA. It's about a 3 hour drive for us, but well worth it. We had a good time helping out with different things.

ScottE, being the awesome brother he is, worked on Jana and Ty's car. However, we did not bring adequate tools for the job(s) he was performing. I suppose you could say we weren't exactly planning on him doing all that much work on the Explorer. So, he was out in the garage alone because it was too cold for me and Ender to be out there with him. Fortunately, Jana happened to be outside when it happened... but the truck fell on ScottE!! Jana came running in the house to get me and Ty to help do whatever we could. The three of us worked together and were able to get the truck lifted up enough to get it off of ScottE's chest. I was unsure of what to do and I was scared ScottE was really hurt. Fortunately, he was not. He had some major pain in his chest for some time. He took an extra day off of work because of it, but for the most part he is okay. Any time after that, I made sure someone was with him!

Thanksgiving dinner was delightful. I provided homemade cranberry sauce, candied yams, green beans with bacon and Severson creamed corn. It was nice to contribute so much this year. ScottE keeps wanting to have our own thanksgiving feast, but it's a lot of work for only a couple of people! Anyway... we all talked about what we were thankful for and got to know each other a little better that way. I am grateful for the opportunity to get to know Jana better... I feel nearly as close to Jana as I did to Jess when we were out in Cali. It is nice having family close – even if they are 3 hours away. =)

Thanksgiving... Hanging out with Daddy - smilin' =)

Ender's first snow

When we got home from Jana's, we got to experience our first real snow! ScottE got the great idea to go for a walk out in the snow, so we bundled all of us up – the dogs included. We put this adorable snow suit on Ender. We took the dogs out with us and put Ender in his stroller. The girls seemed to have a lot of fun. It's hilarious to see them jumping around in the snow. Ender seemed to be okay with the whole situation. You know how I know? He fell sleep in the stroller! I was semi-expecting him to get upset, but it just proves, once again what an awesome little man he is.

Ender in his snow suit and our complex covered in snow!

Ender's first plane ride

Ender and I got to go home to Cali for Christmas. I was a little worried about the traffic and dealing with a lot of people at the airport. It is surprising how helpful people will be when you are seemingly a single parent. People were constantly asking if I needed anything – a place to sit or help carrying stuff. I was independent and did things myself, but it was nice having the offer.

Originally, I had planned to keep Ender in our baby backpack for most of the trip. Come to find out, you can't leave the infant in the pack during take-off and landing. So, what's the point? Once I got onto the plane, I kept him out of it until our arrival. Even then, he wasn't really in it that much because I was also carrying a backpack with a ton of stuff in it. Needless to say, my shoulders were pretty tired after our trip.

Ender did really well on the plane. I was expecting some kind of issue during at least take-off and/or landing. But he slept through almost all of each flight! On our way out, we had a brief stop in Salt Lake. I took Ender off the plane so we could at least get off the plane and stretch for a bit. It was a bit of a pain getting back on but I was grateful when we landed in Sacramento.

My mom and sister picked us up. We didn't get home until late... and I'm surprised Ender wasn't more cranky. He had a bit of a meltdown in the car on the way to Mom's house, but I took a little time and fed him and we were back on the road. He is such an awesome baby...

Ender's first Christmas

Christmas was very bittersweet for me this year. I really enjoyed being home with all of my family and getting to see everyone's reactions when they met Ender for the first time. However, it was hard because ScottE wasn't with us. We simply couldn't afford the plane ticket. We are planning better for next year!

Anyway... Ender wasn't too excited about opening presents or anything like that. He is, after all, only 5 months old (although only 4½ at Christmastime). We got a lot of clothes for him, for which I am very grateful. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get everything packed in my duffel bag, backpack and new purse that I got from mom for Christmas. Luckily, Mom and Heath were willing to ship the things I was unable to fit (THANK YOU SO MUCH!!).

Ender also got a haircut on Christmas day! My camera died so I don't have any pictures yet. I had some family members take some pictures and I'm hoping to receive them soon.

Hanging out with Aunt Jo (above) and Uncle Ray (below) on Christmas Day

Spending time with Nana and Kevin the day after Christmas

Ender's first New Year

Our New Year was pretty uneventful. ScottE and I just hung out here at the house together and watched a couple of movies. Ender wouldn't be able stay up 'til midnight anyway!

Ender's second round of shots

I think that pretty much catches us up to present day. Last Thursday, I took Ender to the doctor. He got 3 shots and some kind of oral vaccine. He did pretty well – but by that third shot he was pretty upset. I picked him up and bounced him a little, ssh-ed him and he calmed right down. He now officially weighs 15 pounds, 10 ounces and measures 26½ inches – but who knows how much has changed since then! His next appointment is mid-February.

Cori's first degree

Well... we discussed all of Ender's firsts – now it's time for one of mine! I recently received my Associate's degree in Psychology! I was really excited to receive the actual degree in the mail. It is such an incredible feeling. I feel so accomplished. I wish I were done with school, but as of now, if I stay on schedule, I should be teaching soon – fall of 2012. I'm not sure what we're going to do with Ender as of yet, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I may look into charter schools or something like that so I can stay home.

My degree!

What else is going on...

Many asked me while I was in Cali, if my best friend, Laura, had moved out to PA yet. As many of you know already, no, she's not here yet. She's had some things she needs to take care of before she can move. As of now, she's hoping to be able to move with her tax return money. So, it's a waiting game right now...

Things with Tanknology are going well. ScottE has been having some issues with his truck. It keeps tearing through belts. He is supposed to be on his way home now, but his truck just broke the serpentine belt, again. He recently had the alternator replaced, but there is no telling what's going on. But other than the truck problems, things are good. ScottE couldn't be happier with his Ops manager and the office treats him really well out here. He's finally getting to the point of not wanting to be working when he comes home though (all that darn paperwork!). I think you could officially say he's burned-out. We're looking into other options, but for now, Tanknology is paying the bills.

One of my resolutions this year is to write more. Whether it actually gets posted or not is yet to be decided. However, I know I feel better about everything when I write. I don't realize how much I have bottled up inside until I sit down and put the proverbial pen to paper. I hope you all enjoy what I have to say... and the pictures too! =)

Also while in Cali, I was afforded the opportunity to learn how to knit. My Mom took me to her knitting store and I got to take a lesson from the owner there. I really like to knit! I have only finished one project but I've been otherwise occupied by reading and spending time with my boys. I'm hoping to finish more projects and as I do, I will keep you updated!

My hat!!

For now... I think that's all. There is so much more that I want to write about. I think for now, this is a sufficient update. =)

Life...

2009-11-05T09:55:00.006-05:00

Things have been going well here in PA. Ender is truly sleeping through the night now. He wakes up much earlier than his Mommy would like, but he takes an early nap (around 10 or so), which makes up for it. I have been able to keep up on the housework and such because he is generally content in wherever I put him. He is just growing so fast! I can't believe he is nearly 3 months already!!

I am very much looking forward to coming home for Christmas. My Dad has already bought my Christmas present for me... my ticket home! I will be arriving on the 15th and staying through the 27th. I love PA but I'm looking forward to going home.

There is a lot of other stuff going on... but I do not feel overly compelled to share everything. However, I'm excited to report my best friend, Laura will be moving in with me and ScottE this coming December! I am very excited about it and cannot wait! It will be nice to have another adult here all of the time. =) I think once things calm down a little, I may share a little bit of more of what is going on... so, until then, just pray that Heavenly Father's will be done.

ScottE is gone a lot for work. It's been nice when he comes home... Ender gets all kinds of excited. He recently discovered his tongue - so he sticks it out a lot. It's adorable! I'll try to get some new pictures up soon. We also got him a bouncer recently, but he seems to still prefer his swing. Here is a list of a few other things he does:

He turns his head a lot. ScottE says it seems like he's doing reps to strength his neck muscles. He loves to look around at things. He turns his head so much, he has worn out a path across the back of his head! I know it will grow back, but it looks kind of funny right now... =)
He is holding his head up really well. I try to give him some tummy-time everyday, but with the dogs, it's a little difficult at times. I am working on it though!
He talks constantly! His little facial expressions and noises are so adorable. I'll try to get a video of him talking.
I love watching him learn. I seriously can see the hampsters just running around in his little head. He gives my world meaning and has opened my eyes to the little things. Having him here has reminded me of what it's like to be new. I can't remember life without him.
When Laura was here on her visit, she constantly talked about how "unfair" it was that he is such a good baby. With her first, there was a lot of issues getting her to sleep through the night and she was constantly fussy. Ender, however, is such a great baby! He rarely fusses (unless he's hungry or tired) and is putting himself to sleep!
I really don't feel like a first time Mommy. I think about all of those things that typical first-time parents do - changing clothes because they spit up a little; changing a diaper because it's a little wet; rushing over because baby is crying... I don't do any of those things! I let him fuss for a little while before going over to see what's wrong. I wait until his diaper is full before changing it. I try to change his clothes everyday, but it's so difficult sometimes to get his appendages to cooperate. As he is growing, though, this is becoming much easier!
I look at other newborns and remember him being so little... but most of the other newborns I've seen are under 7 pounds! He was nearly 9 so I've never thought of him as truly tiny or even fragile.
I love that just him seeing me makes him smile. When I go to get him in the morning, I peer over the crib and his smile just lights up the room. I still can't believe he's mine...

Our ward recently changed from meeting at 1-4 to 11-2, which is so nice even though it's Ender's nap time. Here are some pictures of him just before leaving for church.

He wasn't too happy... but I really wanted the shot!

Much happier here... The outfit is a little big on him but soooo cute!

Look at that face! =) But I have a biased opinion...

I think that's all for now... We didn't have an eventful Halloween because of ScottE's work schedule. We did have a costume for him though. Here is a picture. Enjoy! =)

I know the blue socks don't really go, but he needed something on his feet!

Life with Ender

2009-10-27T12:36:00.006-04:00

Laughin with his Mama =)

Life with Ender has been wonderful. He is truly the best baby... he is nearly 3 months old already! =) Where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday he was born. I never really thought of him as truly fragile because when he was born, he already was trying to hold his head up, he caught on to nursing so well, so quickly and he was nearly 9 pounds. I knew there would be things I would forget about his birth when I posted to everyone. There wasn't much... and I can't even think of anything specific right now! =)

Our days have quickly gotten back to normal. Ender is pretty much sleeping through the night and has been for some time. We've been trying to get him to bed between 9 and 10pm, which usually happens. He generally wakes up between 5 and 7am. He takes a good nap during the afternoon. It seems he's been eating more, but since I don't have him on any kind of schedule it's hard to say.

He talks a lot and gives us the biggest smiles. I love hearing his little voice. It makes me smile just thinking about him smiling. =) When I go to get him out of his crib in the morning, I usually wait until he's been talking for a little while because sometimes he goes back to sleep. When I walk in the room, I just get all giddy listening to him. When I step up to the crib, I look down at him, rub his little tummy and smile at him. Sometimes he smiles back and other times he just keeps talking to me. But that first glimpse of him, first thing in the morning, just makes my day. I love that little boy so much...

Smilin for Mama =)

The other day, ScottE told me something that made my... month, I guess you could say. He told me that Ender loves me. He said Ender's face lights up when I walk into the room. I nearly cried! I am so grateful to have two boys in my life that love me for who I am and what I am able to do for them. I don't know where or even who I would be without them.

My best friend Laura came out for a visit recently. It was good to have a familiar face around the house as well as another set of hands! She was very helpful with the dishes and the puppies. I think the dogs is where I typically fall short. I try to get them out on a regular basis - for walks as well as frequent potty sessions. While Laura was here, she needed to get out of the house for some personal clarity at times (she came without her two girls whom she hadn't been away from since they were both born - over 4 years!) and she usually would take the dogs with her. I know they really enjoyed the time outside! It's going to be increasingly difficult to get out with the weather changing...

Other than the frequent dog walks, ScottE and I took Laura out to the Amish country and we did a little bit of shopping... I got this adorable jacket for Ender at a thrift store here in town as well as some new shirts for me on clearance at Target. There is a very real possibility she could be moving here with us permenantly but plans are still very much up in the air.

I'm very much looking forward to coming home for Christmas. There are things I miss about California but I love it here in PA. We are planning to spend Thanksgiving with Jana, Ty and all of their children. I know Ender is going to love spending time with all of his cousins =)

I think that is really all that is going on here! I have posted some pictures on my Facebook but I think it's wise to post some here as well. Hope you all enjoy! =) Until next time...

From smiling to...

... pouty lip... in no time at all!!

Hangin out with Daddy =)

Ender's birth and life thus far...

2009-09-25T19:55:00.002-04:00

Well... they say to enjoy every moment with your little one – I guess I've been taking this to an extreme! I've been spending so much time with my baby that I haven't updated everyone on what has been happening.

Life with Ender has been wonderful. He has been the perfect baby! He sleeps pretty well... although not quite all the way through the night yet. He is just like Mommy and Daddy – a night owl! He typically will sleep from 7–11; eat and go back to sleep until about 5am. It has been wonderful even though I am not a morning person! We usually go back to sleep unless we have something pressing that we need to do. =) He has been pretty good about sleeping in his crib which helps me get a better night sleep because I don't hear every little noise he makes (we originally set up his bassinet in our bedroom).

My mom was able to come out for a week, which was fun. =) She got to spend a lot of time holding Ender while I worked on the house. ScottE and I were just so ready to have Ender that it hasn't been as much of an adjustment as we had originally expected. We thought he would have sensitive skin – he doesn't. We thought he would cry a lot – he doesn't. We thought it would be difficult to get him to go to sleep – it hasn't been. There have been a few fussy moments, but for the most part, he is a very happy baby. He recently started smiling and I can't wait until he starts reaching out for us and laughing. He tends to smile most for Daddy... =) which just thrills my soul because Daddy doesn't get to spend a lot of time with him due to his work.

I know I haven't shared his birth story yet... and I'll get to that in just a moment... ScottE has been gone a lot for work. Right now, he is in California to get his work truck which we loaded with a bunch of stuff in the move. We have been living without a vacuum and several lamps since April! It makes me wonder... do we really need all that stuff? Of course, the answer is yes – we've survived thus far, but it will be nice to get all of our stuff into the house. I'm gonna have to find a place for all of it. =)

My recovery has been going well... I didn't tear at all during labor and I'm already below my pre-pregnancy weight. I know I need to get exercising but for now, my metabolism (and nursing) has done all of the work. I truly have been blessed and I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for Ender and how great I've been feeling.

So... his birth! =)
Friday (August 7th): ScottE was given the day off and needed to take in his work truck. So we took it in and dropped it off. We decided to go walk around the mall for a little while to see if we could get our little man to come out. After a couple hours, I was pretty tired and ScottE's truck was done, so we picked it up and came home. I think we ran a few other errands as well and it seems like we went to the movies too, but eventually we got back home. I was feeling pretty uncomfortable but no major contractions to speak of.

Saturday (August 8th): I was feeling really uncomfortable. I didn't want to move a whole lot and so we spent a majority of the day in bed or around the house. I wanted to walk around some to get things moving, but I was in some major pain. I wasn't really having contractions, but I was experiencing some major cramping. I called the doctor but they basically told me I was in the beginning stages of labor and unless things got worse or my water broke that I should just stay home. I didn't sleep much that night...

Sunday (August 9th): That morning, I decided it was time to go to see the doctor. Upon arrival, we had the Bishop and another priesthood holder come to give me a blessing. I felt better afterward... then the nurse came in to check me. She said I was dilated about 2 cm and that they wouldn't admit me unless my water broke or I was 4 cm dilated. I was crushed... but she told us to walk around the hospital for a little while and then come back. We decided to walk around, but it was raining so we couldn't really go outside and there weren't many places we could go. We ate a little something and then went back. The nurse told us we would be going home... but that we would be back later that night. I put my hope in that and made the trip back home...

Once we got home, I felt a little bit better simply because I was more comfortable, but I didn't want to be at home. I wanted to be in the hospital! We called my sister-in-law Jana to see if she was available to come down and help out in the delivery room. She said she would be delighted... so we decided to wait at home until she arrived. Once she got here, we drove to the hospital.

In triage, I was checked. I told the nurse I had been having some bladder issues (or what I thought were bladder issues). She decided to test the fluid to see if it was urine or amniotic fluid. Come to find out, my water had broken and I hadn't even realized it! I was stoked!! That meant we HAD to stay! The doctor finally arrived to check me again - I was still at a 2, but since my water had broken, they were going to admit me into the Labor and Delivery room.

Once I got to my room, all I wanted to do was lay down. The nurse came in and put on the monitors. I stayed on the monitors for a little while and breathed through my contractions as best I could. We tried different things to make me more comfortable - I sat in the tub for a while; rolled over on opposite sides. Mostly I stayed in the bed - I considered walking around a bit, but my legs were so weak... We talked about trying different things, but I was most comfortable in bed, lying on my side doing my best to breathe through the pain.

At some point (my grasp of time was non-existent and I think it was around midnight), my nurse checked me to see how dilated I was. She said I was at an 8 - the first thing that ran through my head was, "Are you serious?! It's nearly over!" I definitely felt it was too good to be true... She went to get the doctor and came back with another nurse who rechecked me. My fears were confirmed as she said I was only a 3-4. I wanted to sink into the bed and die. I couldn't take it. I was exhausted and unable to sleep...

My nurse suggested some pain medication - just to help me sleep. I knew I didn't want an epidural but I NEEDED to sleep! She recommended Benedryl and Nubane which would help me relax so I could, at the very least, rest for a little while. It helped for a little while but didn't last as long as I would have liked.

Monday (August 10th): We finally got to the pushing the next morning. As I said, my grasp of time was non-existent but I know I pushed for over an hour. He came out with a slightly smooshed head, but he was perfect. If you don't know, he weighed 8 pounds, 14 ounces and was 22 inches long. Thus far, his eyes are staying blue and I hope they do. He has a head full of hair which he was born with – which is sort of a strawberry blond. We think it may go blond later...

We went to the doctor last week... he got his second hepatitis shot. He was such a sport. He cried after the nurse stabbed him, but I started talking to him, trying to reassure him and he calmed down almost immediately. He now weighs 11 pounds and is 23 inches long. Gotta love breast milk!! On that note: nursing is going really well. He likes to eat at night – which is sometimes frustrating for me, but we're surviving. I occasionally pump a bottle for him so Daddy can help with the feedings.

I have posted some new pictures on my Facebook and will do my best to keep them coming. Life with Ender has not only been wonderful but incredibly natural... and I think that's all for now. =) I will do my best to not let things go for this long, so you don't have to read so much at one time!

Slackin...

2009-08-22T20:34:00.003-04:00

I know I have been completely slacking on getting a new blog posted. Things have been hectic - between having guests (my sister-in-law and my mom) and the arrival of Ender. We are already getting into a decent routine and I know things will only continue to get better when it's just the 3 of us. It has been really nice to have family come and help out. Jana, my sis-in-law, was able to come down for Ender's birth and to stay with us for a couple of days... then this past Friday, my mom flew in from California. She has been staying with us and will be going home tomorrow morning. I will be posting some pictures - both here and on Facebook - along with his birth story. I just wanted to write a brief something! =)

For now:

He weighed 8 pounds and 14 ounces, 22 inches long. He came home at 8 lbs, 6 oz but I think he has already regained that weight. I need to take him to the doctor this upcoming week just to be sure.
He was born on his due date - August 10th - which was pretty neat.
I was in active labor from Sunday evening (my water broke around 7:30ish) until he was born at 9:51am on Monday. It was a LONG weekend...
He nurses very well.
While in the hospital, he had to have his sugar checked before every feeding. They said it was because he was big for his gestational age, but I think he's just perfect. =)
He looks like me but has many of ScottE's facial expressions.
He sleeps very well - usually from about 9pm until anywhere from 2-4am. The only problem with that is ScottE and I stay up too late and don't get to bed until he's about to wake up again! But usually I just feed and change him and he goes back to sleep and so do I!
He likes to pee on Mommy... just today, I was at the mall with my mom. We had to stop in JCPenney to change his diaper. After wiping up all his poop, he decided to pee all over me! I just chaulked it up to being a mommy to a newborn boy! I'm beginning to learn we need to keep that hose covered! =)

So... that's been our adjustment period. I know things will only continue to get easier/harder, more and less organized. I will be writing his birth story at some point over the next week as things will be calming down and I will be home alone... So for now, that's what's going on! =)

What's goin on... =)

2009-08-05T15:01:00.010-04:00

My deepest apologies for having not updated everyone prior to this. I guess I've allowed my resting to get in the way! Things have been going well... I'm still feeling good, but I'm getting to the point where I am very tired of being pregnant. I have been experiencing some contractions, but nothing major. Everytime he sees my stomach get tight, ScottE gets all excited thinking I'll go into labor soon. I'm trying to stay positive but I'm having a hard time... it's frustrating because I want him out!

At my last doctor's appointment, they checked me for the second time. Thus far, my cervix is thinning out but I'm not dilated at all yet. I try to walk around a little everyday to get things moving and to stay active.

ScottE has been very supportive and helpful. His office has been trying to keep him close to home but today he's in New Jersey. I'm just grateful they are at least trying. He has been home early most of this week which has been nice because we can go and walk around together. I find I walk slower when I'm by myself so having someone to keep up my motivation helps a lot!

I decided to take some pictures of the nursery today. Enjoy! =)

Here is the whole room! It's pretty big, especially for just one little guy...

Here's the changing table. I thought it would be a good idea to put some onesies on it!

This is our crib! Thanks to everyone who has contributed to allowing us to have this... Steve and Jess for giving it to us; the Herberts for the bed set and mobile; my mom for knitting one of Ender's first blankets! This boy better like dogs because we have so many stuffed puppies for him...

This was ScottE's dad's dresser when he was little. I'm so glad we have something special like this for our little guy.

I don't have all that much to hang up - having a boy and all! =) I just bought the hangers today and had to hang some stuff up! I can't wait to see him in those overalls...

I just love all of the little socks! I think they are so adorable. I thought a picture of them would be cute... and it is! I know I'm a goober, but this first-time mommy is super excited. =)

So, I'm playing the waiting game. I'm doing my best to stay well rested and hydrated. I'm also trying to finish the "Ender's Game" series before our little guy is born. I'm in the third book of four and I have less than 100 pages left in this book. I guess wish us luck - I'm really hoping to go into labor this weekend as my due date is next Tuesday. My next appointment is on Wednesday but hopefully some of you will get a phone call before then!

36 weeks??

2009-07-15T18:24:00.011-04:00

I've let life slip away from me! It's been a couple weeks, and a lot has happened. I'll try to stay in chronological order, but we'll see how it goes... it's easier to just put things into categories - so here goes!

All about Ender

Well... I thought I had an appointment on Tuesday, July 6th, but I was wrong. My appointment was actually the previous day (Monday, the 5th)! So, I rescheduled for Friday the 10th. Everything is looking good for D-day. I keep hoping it comes early, but I'm not getting my hopes up (although I may start drinking some raspberry leaf tea to get the ball rolling =) ). He's measuring to be right on time which has been comforting. At my last appointment, I asked if I could get an estimate of his weight and he's looking to be about 6ish pounds right now. The OB said they would have a better estimate at my next appointment (which is on the 24th) but that he will probably be an above average baby! I've heard stories about how my family found themselves being extra careful with my cousin as she was a preemie and extremely small. But when it came to handling me as a newborn, they weren't so delicate (I was 8 1/2 pounds)! I know ScottE is already a little afraid of handling a newborn. It's comforting to know I won't have to worry too much about him being overly small. I can definitely tell he is getting bigger because I feel a constant pressure in my ribs as well as in my pelvis. I've been trying to do pelvic tilts to alleviate the pressure, but it's hard to do by myself.

I think the nursery is as complete as it is going to get for now. ScottE and Tyler put the crib together just before they left after the 4th. So I was able to get that together and the changing table is organized but needs some boxes/baskets for the little things.

At my third baby shower, I got a bunch of diapers as well as different kinds of wipes. I also got some bottles (even though I'm planning to nurse), pacifiers, burp cloths and onsies. I was hoping to get a changing table pad and bassinet sheets, but I guess we'll just ave to get those ourselves. I think the only things we need to get are bassinet sheets, a changing pad and cover, a trash can for diapers (YAY!!) and hangers. There are a few things I need to hang up in his room, but other than that it's mostly done. Not that it really matters because he'll be sleeping in our room for a little while in his bassinet.

Other than that, I've been really healthy and haven't gained too much weight - which has been very important to me. I will keep you posted though!

Our new TV!

So, we finally took the TV back and got a new one! It was pretty easy to get the new one. We simply got the confirmation number from customer service and took it to the store. Our last one was a 32" LCD. Now, we have a 42" plasma! It's so nice and the color is unreal. ScottE still can't get over it every time he comes home. It's super cute... but then again he gets excited about a lot of things! =)

The house, the puppies and our 4th

The house is really coming together. There are still some boxes we need to take down to the garage, but I think it's pretty much done. ScottE doesn't seem to be satisfied with the arrangement of the living room so we may work on that this weekend. I just hope he doesn't want to change it again any time soon after that!

The dogs are doing a lot better about letting us know they need to go out. Halcyon has even developed her own little sign! I'm so grateful that ScottE gave us a little more time to work on things with her. I just hope she doesn't digress when Ender is born!

The 4th of July weekend was very busy. Unfortunately we didn't get to see a parade or even any fireworks... but we had a lot of fun with Jana, Ty and the children. Charli got to a point where she was pretty testy with Thomas, but I think it was mostly because he was invading her space. Halcyon ran and hid as usual, but by the end of the weekend, she was walking around in a relatively normal posture.

The weekend did not go anywhere close to according to plan - as it never does when there are children involved. They arrived late Friday night (after getting lost a couple times - boy, do I love having a GPS!) and left Monday evening. Saturday, we went to a park out in Lancaster and then to Red Robin for lunch. We did our BBQ indoors, but everything turned out great. I'm just sorry I didn't get to make my potato salad. Jana was a big help in the kitchen which was nice because I got to sit a lot. I kept an eye on the children while she did all of the cooking! =) Sunday we woke up to cinnamon rolls, which were delicious. We all went to church and then stayed home so ScottE and I could get some work done (I had finals due and ScottE had work orders to do). Monday, we went to another park and had a picnic... All in all it was a great weekend!

Other than that...

... things are going well. ScottE's work is keeping him busy and unfortunately away from home more than I would like. But, we are both adapting and are grateful it's all happening now and not in August! We recently decided we would be coming home for Christmas and not in October like we had originally thought. It will be nice to see everyone for Christmas though. Plus, Ender will be bigger and more active by that point - much more fun to be around =). I just can't wait to see him...

Plans for Independence Day and beyond

2009-06-29T11:16:00.003-04:00

While not a whole lot has changed, I've been wanting to take the time to blog on a more regular basis. I need to get into the habit now otherwise it's going to be very difficult after Ender is born! I still haven't been able to get ScottE to take any pictures of my belly. Hopefully we can get some done this week.

All about baby
I don't think I've ever seen a more active baby inutero! He pushes on me constantly. It seems his favorite position is to stick his head out my lower left side and put his back/bum out the right side of my ribs. It can get to be incredibly uncomfortable at times! He also likes to push on my ribs and hip bones. ScottE asked me just the other day if I was still willing to do it all over again so we could have more children. I can't help but smile... because it's been a pretty easy pregnancy! I'm a little worried to discover how labor will go because things have been so easy so far, but if this is what it's all about - I could do it a million times! Aside from being slightly uncomfortable, the minor back pain and the swollen feet, I have no other complaints! I guess we'll have to see how he behaves when he gets here... can't believe it's coming up so quickly! Only 5 more weeks...

His room is still a disaster area. We have a bunch of clothes spread out all over the floor. I'm hoping to get the "new" clothes washed today so I can start putting things away. Hopefully, ScottE can get his crib put together and it will actually begin to resemble a room! It's not as bad as our spare room was back in CA, but it does look a bit like a storage room right now. I just hope I can keep my energy up enough to get everything done!

My next doctor's appointment is on the 6th. I'm not looking forward to this one as I have to get my Group B Strep test done. I know they will be starting the internal exams soon and I'm not looking forward to those either. I guess it's just part of the price we pay to bring babies into this world!

Plans for the 4th
Jana and Tyler are planning to come down for the 4th of July! ScottE and I are both very excited. This will be our first family visit since the move. It's going to be so nice having family here... We have some minor child proofing to do before they get here. I'm not overly worried about it though because the children are well behaved. We simply have to communicate with them! Their visit is another reason I need to get a lot of things done on Ender's room. They are planning to come down on Thursday night. Jana has offered to help with the stuff that I can't do, so it should be a really fun and productive visit. We are planning a big bbq on Saturday after watching a parade or something downtown. I hope the children are as excited as we adults are!

Our TV
I don't think I have mentioned this to anyone! Shortly after the move, we started having issues with our tv. Basically, we were seeing red pixels in some of the dark spots and the faces would appear a little weird. We called Best Buy about the warranty and they said they would send someone out. Apparently they didn't give the technicians the right phone number and they never showed up. I called Best Buy a week or so later, and they did some minor troubleshooting over the phone. Those suggestions didn't work. So I called again and they finally sent someone out. The techs got here and basically told me we had an LCD panel out. They knew they wouldn't be able to get the part so they sent the work order in to Best Buy. I called them the following week and was told they would process the work order. Basically they were going to look for the part and if they could get it, they would send the tech out again to fix it. If not, we would get a confirmation number for an exchange. The service company has since called me and said we would be getting an exchange. We have yet to receive the confirmation, but are hoping to get it soon - it should arrive sometime today or tomorrow. Then, ScottE suggested we get credit for the tv we have now and then put some extra money on top of it and get a bigger one. When I asked customer service about this, essentially it's up to the store where we do the exchange. But that's what we're hoping for! We are also hoping we can get this done before Jana and Tyler get here. Right now our tv is sitting on the floor with a bunch of wires everywhere. ScottE doesn't want to drill into the wall until we know what we are going to be doing for sure. Can't wait to find out! It's very much time for an upgrade!

More plans:
The next few days are going to be pretty busy for me. I have a lot to do around the house to get it ready for our visitors. I also have a lot of shopping to do! We have this really awesome Farmer's Market every Tuesday and I'm planning to get a bunch of stuff there tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be very busy and I'm going to be on my feet most of the day. I just hope it's not too hot! The humidity here is killer for my feet and my hands.

A sister in our ward allowed me to borrow her vacuum so I need to get most of that done today. There is just so much to do! And what am I doing? Sitting at my computer!! How silly can you be? Anyway... I should probably get back to working on the house. I have some boxes to go through as well as a TON of laundry. I will definitely be posting something after this weekend... or at the very least after my doctor's appointment.

Finally!

2009-06-22T14:55:00.003-04:00

I have finally decided it is time to actually use this thing! It is taking some getting used to... so please, bear with me.

All about baby / pregnancy
As many may or may not know, we are having a boy! ScottE and I could not be more excited... he has been a very active baby. This past week (last Tuesday), I had a doctor's appointment. Everything looks perfect - he is measuring to be on-time and I haven't gained too much weight. His heartbeat is spot on (within the 140s) and he is already head down! I told ScottE and he got all excited. He seems to think that because he is head down, Ender will be here soon. I have reassured him that this is definitely a good thing but doesn't really mean anything yet.

The pregnancy has been pretty easy. I am, however, starting to be more and more uncomfortable as well as tired. This past Saturday, ScottE and I went to the mall and my feet were so swollen. I am so fortunate to have a caring husband - he offered to wheel me around in a wheelchair! At first I was hesitant because I know I need my exercise too, but he insisted. I felt so much better sitting there and we were able to cover a lot more ground a lot more quickly. I know the humidity here in PA is not going to help with the swelling as summer progresses, but the countdown is definitely on!

Looking back on everything that has happened over the past few months, I can't believe my due date is so close. I knew once we moved to PA things would progress a lot faster and it would be here before I knew it. Now, it's only 7 weeks until my due date and I am just not ready! I have a lot I need to do on his room and around the house before then. I just don't know how I'm going to get it all done with the energy level I have these days. ScottE needs to put together his crib still, but we have a bassinet as well which he will sleep in for the first couple months. We have time, I'm just in a bit of a nesting phase I guess.

The house and the puppies
Everything is really coming together! I still have a few boxes which I need to go through and really decide if we need to keep all of the stuff in them or not. I know a lot of it can go down in our garage (it is so nice to have an actual garage and not just a room which we call the garage!). ScottE's dresser has filled up faster than I thought it would... we may need to get him a new one sooner rather than later. Our bathrooms have close to no storage space. We have been thinking about getting a vanity for in our bedroom. Not entirely sure how things will work out, but our apartment is slowly becoming a home.

We still don't have ScottE's truck from CA. This is very frustrating because all of our lamps were on his truck - along with our vacuum! I have been thinking about asking someone in our new ward if we could borrow one. Having two dogs makes a big mess - plus I shed like crazy myself! What are we going to do?

The puppies have actually adjusted rather well to life in PA. However, our little one, Halcyon has been having some potty issues. She doesn't always like to let us know when she needs to go. ScottE is ready to get rid of her because he doesn't want Ender crawling around the house and discovering poop. I can't blame him, but she's my baby too! I know Ender comes first and that's all that really matters. I just hope she can get to a point where she tells us she needs to go instead of just going in the house. I try to take them out pretty often, but it doesn't always work out the best. Wish us luck though... I don't want to lose her!

ScottE's work
Fortunately, I think most of his staying away from home is over - at least until Ender is born. The first few weeks we were here, ScottE was gone most of the time. He worked up in New Hampshire, Massachusetts and New York. He told his OPS Manager last week he needed to be close to home. He has also told them if he is more than 2 hours away and I go into labor, he will be leaving the site as is, close it up (of course) no matter how much testing he has left. They seem to be pretty understanding about the whole thing, but we'll see how that goes.

He seems to really enjoy working out here. He really likes his new OPS Manager - mostly because he actually listens to ScottE! Miracle of miracles!!

Our new ward
Our new ward has been wonderful! They have been very helpful with getting us all of the information we need for the baby and we have gotten so much stuff! Saturday, they had a swap meet at the church. We got 3 boxes of clothes, a box of toys, a batheing thingy, a changing table, and a couple other things for the house! We were both very excited for all of the stuff we got. Plus, a couple of the sisters are throwing me another baby shower! I am so spoiled! =)

School
School has been going really well. By the beginning of November, I will have my Associate's degree! I am so very excited!! Then, beginning in December, I will be starting on my Bachelor's! I have decided to just get my credential in Elementary Education because the University of Phoenix does not have an English program (as I want to be an English teacher). I was pretty bummed but this will make me more marketable. Just in case we move somewhere who is not looking for an English teacher, I will have experience in elementary teaching. Plus, who knows, I may end up liking it!

I think that is really all for now. I will be updating after each doctor's appointment and then of course after Ender's birth.